┼ all i can do is hope and pray ┼

2007-08-16T16:18:00.001+08:00

watching you walk away is when the agony becomes unbearable.
playing the piano is when my mind plays back the moments we had together.
holding you close is when i hate myself for being so weak.
-
when everyth falls, will you dive back into my embrace?
you know it's not meant to be like this;
[leaking souls, dare to abandon]
-
now that the tests are all over, it's a week to my piano exam!
i'll practise hard and continue with EOY revisions.
yayaye/ i just received a sms. (:
-
bury myself in books and sing through the night.
and between now and then, till i see you again,
i'll be loving you. [w/(o) you <(/)3]

dr low's speech at the youth conference. (:

2007-08-16T16:10:00.000+08:00

A river of life involves receive and the sprit of giving.
Everyone looks at things in a different perspective and that
Life is not about what you can achieve but what you can CONTRIBUTE.
Be passionate abut what you do and take care of the PIES
(physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)

one mosquito,
"why does human hate me so much? they try all means to whack and catch me everytime i appear"
2nd mosquito,
"they love me and clap everytime i enter the room"

[we interprete things according to our paradign]

2007-08-16T15:51:00.000+08:00

life's been a whirlwind-
recollections...
26th july
buzz @ canteen was great(:
happy birthday SHAFA :D
29th july
took the wrong bus and cabbed to tuition again.=/ hah.
then went city hall to mug with faith again.
sunday's officially out day out tgt, mugging most of the times,
and occasional shopping((:
seafood reissoto from olio rocks(:
2nd august
went physio with mayxuen
it's my last time with shafa and sarah): it'll be sham the next time.
[a hug breaks more barriers than a thousand words]
all the best in your future attachments and do keep in touch(:
4th august
went to national youth council conference @ suntec(:
with becca, mel, hl, Jj and ms goh(:
then watched disturbia and ate fondue @ andersons :D
yayaye! (:
how long has it been, since someone hepl me so close? <3
7th august
Happy Birthday Kelly :D
went jogging with faith and played volley with ps(:
8th august
National day celebrations was fun then training.
then dinner with volleyballers!(:
all the laughter, the pictures, the joy, i'll never forget((:
11th august
went iceskating with YH, Melo, MelMei and my lil cousin.
pretty fun! :D and i have 3 prettaye bumps on my knee. heh.
12th august
tuition and went serangoon gardens to mug with faith(:
next week will be for shopping! GEEHEE-
and i love green tea ice cream and raffles and Green Tea ice cream wafer @ haata! :D
-
heh. ohoh, and i bought 2 pair of GREEN shorts from faith & a shirt(:

FILLED WITH LOVE<3

2007-07-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

19th july 07(:
Racial Harmony Day! =D it's great.
hurhur, where is the love y'all?
it's all found in 3/o, in YOU and in me! ((:
-
then had training and piano, was with faith before and after piano(:
we had dinner! yayaye:D
-
20th july(:
MOM's back(X i'm sorry for the mess=/ heh.
ate vegetarian food for brunch. i simply indulged(:
simple, serene and beautiful(: because i love mommy!
-
i slept for 16 hours i think? hah. tired luh.
then went for dinner @ east coast with relatives.
and the 9yearold china boy who came for exchange program is so ADORABLE(:
he's witty and good looking((:
and i bought my musical notes singlet from topshop! :P
-
21st.
i'm currently at T*3 at potong with FAITHY(:
hah- yeah. mugging like we did last week, but today shall be a history day!(:
and chinese essay/
-
[i may not be perfect; but i feel COMPLETE]
muchloves (:

2007-07-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

[Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again]
my current piano addiction
You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered

Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seem if I just dream
Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I could

Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental
Seem for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle

Too many years
Fighting back tears

Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye'
Why can't the past just die
-
/goodbye was just a impassionate embrace/

2007-07-16T13:46:00.000+08:00

where did i leave off?
6th july
i screwed my chinese o'levels oral. =/
7th july
Happy birthday chowchow and him!
11th july
nationals javelin. it was pretty fine, at least im satisfied(:
[just do your best, anyth else is a bonus]
lunch with amelia(:
physio.
12th july
physio.
13th july
back to vball training :D
piano.
14th july
went city plaza with mom.
15th july
tuition then met faith.
i did 6 hours of maths straight! wow. (:
and had my first pepper lunch at hougang mall with faith! <3
it's this memories that overwrites the past.
-
it'll be chinese olevels listening in about 30mins time.
and english oral tmr.
that's about all, boring isn't it?
i want to shop for wallet,tops,skirts,shorts,slippers!
-
and i realise how mundane life is luh!
will be alone this week. ):
dad's working, mom's overseas, bro's overseas, bro's at camp.
someth happened, and i wish everyth will be fine real soon.
-
i want the wallet at esplanade-
-
my new schedules goes...
1,3-volleyball training
2-chinese supplementry and meeting
4-physio,maths remedial
5-vball training and piano
7-tuition.
-
and piano exam's round the corner!

2007-07-03T13:57:00.000+08:00

i love yesterday(:
-
and tell me who will stand by me come tomorrow?
will i still believe that love exist tomorrow morming?
-
influx of painkillers/

2007-06-26T10:54:00.000+08:00

the sweetest dream
i dreamt that i swam with the dolphins in a lagoon.
felt their gentle kiss and warm body carass my soul.
where nothing else mean but the love we share.
-
if only it would all come through.
-
till then, my world's crumbling):

2007-06-26T10:52:00.000+08:00

training's been hectic,
i thought i was doing well, but i'm wrong.
it has taken it's tall on me
and i never thought it would be that bad.
year after year, history repeats,
maybe it's just not meant to be.
can you explain my low morale?
-
it's when all this happen... again and again...
that i feel like giving up;

2007-06-26T10:47:00.000+08:00

since i met you, my whole life was changed.
-
june holidays was packed with trainings and quality time spent catching up with friends.
whether or not it's just a mean, a day or overnight, i enjoyed every moment spent(:
you know who you are((:
-
all this while, i know a part of me can't bear to let you go.
remember what happened before your o's chinese oral last year?
remember after my event last year?
remember the night after nationals?
and i wonder if it all's gonna change too much.
-
and all i wanna do is throw a good distance.
and run away with you
-
anyway, happy birthday chantal and juliana and cherie! (:
im sorry i forgot, but birthday's ain't anyth memorable to me=/

2007-05-24T11:48:00.000+08:00

我不需要你的关爱，因为我够坚强。
我不需要你的肯定，因为我有自信。
说我冷淡也好，冷酷也罢，
反正由始至终，我都是冷血的，
心也早已结冰了。
别怪我带着的面具，
因为我只知道自己不能再受伤。
所以不敢太爱你。
-
其实无所谓，我学会了化悲愤为力量。
-
random: actually, you don't know me at all(：

2007-05-22T14:00:00.000+08:00

maybe sacrifices really have to be made,
with emotions put aside, this time i'm determined,
to make the best out of this opportunity, this season. (:
-
18th, mom and i just have so much fun crapping(:
just the bus ride and journey home from piano made me roll on the floor laughing(literally) :P what more can i ask for? <3
-
20th. sunday.
met faith to shop, then + edwin for movie, +melo and yanhui for bowling,
-faith for dinner and stargaze at esplanade roof and off to pass melanie her birthday present. :D
-
anyway, i enjoyed myself, did you? :D
i'm looking forward to this sunday and 5th june! :D
-
ohoh. and people.. add me at lxiano@hotmail.com (:
-
actually i've been pretty emotionless:D
but labby, we shan't drift, though i've been a loner lately=/
aww. sorry, let me be. but i still love you anyway(:
-
let those who harbour intentions to hurt be condemned,
and the bad shall be ignored.
do i have to explain further about my behaviour lately? (:
-
get well soon faithy, mx, melanie and all who's unwell

2007-05-14T10:34:00.000+08:00

more than life hungry stupidity, is the inability to let go.
i've written some stuffs ofF, i've get my hands ofF some things;
and i've put some people at the back of my head.
i read/i recollected; and i smiled at the past, i teared at the adeus;
i remember the heartbreaks, the silly things mentioned,
and all that were once meant forever.
but baby, i'm looking ahead. (:
-
life's greatest opponent-fear.
fear, a word that has a really wide scope
however, it is always darkest before dawn, no?
-
i've been at marina square everyweek lately.
i love daddy, i love mommy, i love korkor, i love erkorkor;
because they're really the ones, that has always been there(:
oh i bought a new pair of white and green shoes and my long-awaited shirt! :D
at the expense of korkor((:
-
many clashes in the upcoming activities; aww, give me a break):
i will beat the odds as great as they are; 船到桥头自然直吧。
-
说真的，我有点累了。

2007-05-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

i couldn't blog at home, so here i am, in school(:
have been hanging out at marina square lately,
with machos/ twinnie and nanny! <3>
i'm starting to plan my activities for the upcoming weeks and june hols,
pretty amaze by my packed schedule. hahh.
mother day's coming and i shall do something:D
i love mommy; all of em' especially the biological one! ((:
-
i'm really putting alot of effort, even when i feel like falling apart/
i'm gritting my teeth, trying to the very last minute.
多少次泪在眼眶，我用微笑抵挡，告诉自己总会有答案。
-
someone said "a mistake can ruin your entire image/reputation"
some people can't seem to let go of the grudge.
however, time and time again, i forgive and forget, trusting again.
也许有的觉得我太天真，但其实生命也可以不那么复杂。
轻易相信你，trusting you mean no harm, 请别让我失望。
也许我心太软，把你的琐碎事看得太重。
-
..oh and i stained... for once. HAH=/
mel and faith came too! lol. good friends always have them together, don't they? :D
today's post's much livelier no? hahh.
and i realise 大肚皮姐姐is always by my side when i blog :D
-
((((: bahbah; i bought yellow/orange flower. hahh-

2007-05-03T13:54:00.000+08:00

凌晨四点，天下起雨了，
窗外刮起风，我与玻璃一样的颤抖着。
在这暴风雨的夜里，感觉好渺小。
好无助，好无奈，好害怕得落泪，
需要你是，你是否还在？
白色的闪电狠狠的割过黑暗的夜空，
留下的也只有灰色的阴影。
我再一次叫着你的名字，哭着入眠了。
-
I've got enough to worry,
some things i just can't control;
i'm breaking, i'm falling apart/
return when you want to, i can't speak no more.
勉强没幸福，que sera, sera.
-
momentary fatique;
i'm afraid of javelin, afraid of all the injuries,
~!#$@$%^&**() tell me history won't repeat*
and baby, you're not here anyway/
-
算了，无所谓，也许我走了，大家会快乐一些。
do you want to hear me say adeus?
-
i love teng²,labby,xin²,ra²,faithfy;
they brought me up when you put me down.

2007-04-29T19:10:00.000+08:00

ignorance is bliss; there's so much i wish i didn't know.
-
just back from zoo;
animals makes my heart brake(:
it's these extraodinary beings that i'd like to live with,
a place with innocent creatures, where nth matters.
-
i'm stressed/i'm insane/fatique.
"don't fall ill, don't strain your neck, don't injure your back, don't hurt your knees for no one will be there, no one will give it a damn, no one's gonna care whether or not you're alive."
okay, i'm talking to myself, i'm blabbering.
-
i miss the animals/
i miss you.. (the one i just talked to, through the night)
anyway, the point is, i'm feeling insecure and stressed.
fullstop.

2007-04-26T13:53:00.000+08:00

也许不该太执著，
不这为何觉得冷冷的，酸酸的。
[天下起雨了，人是不快乐，我的心真的受伤了]
不要在我的伤口撒盐了好吗？
perhaps it was unintentional.
what's with the emo mood? it has left me for so long, and i'll not accept it back.
-
i shall just divert my attention to work, training, and piano.
played scissors paper stone and lao ying zhua xiao ji for SELC
and i'm happy once again((:
-
que sera, sera; what will be, will be.
-
(: what's that to fret?
muchloves<3

2007-04-24T13:56:00.000+08:00

suddenly everything seems to be back on track(:
life's been so packed that i can't believe how much everyth has faded away.
somth intangible cease to exist no more at the new beginning of each phase.
have been out with yh, melo and mujia.
sometimes it's friends like them i really cherish.
-currently addicted to 我真的受伤了。
can we, will we, shall we? back to the [you+I]=<3
is it possible? let me treasure you once more.
this time i promise i will. (even if it hurts)
-
off to the impossible tasks,
make the impossible possible.
the persistant headaches, worsening backache and gastric):
-
hardly have enough time.
i've accepted the cruel truth.
its alright :D

2007-04-17T14:12:00.000+08:00

a short post before i'll be rushing off for training again.
dedicated to dearest table partner TAYHUIXIN!
have as much faith as i have in you,
believe in your abilities!
tomorrow will be great,
you will clear the routes with the least effort!
what's so frightening bout tmr?
(: elmo cushion will be rooting you on, along with all of us/
-
whatever the outcome, you know we'll always be proud of you! loves<3
-
okay/
as for me, life's been pretty hectic.
it's pratically school, training, homework and sleep.
what more can i say?
and kim, take care of yourself.
anyway, who's passerby?
-
sometimes i feel like no one understands
i don't even know,
why i do the things i do,
when pride builds me up and i can't see my soul.
will you break down these walls,
and pull me through...
-
p.s its less than 30hours of throws training left):

2007-04-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

一生里，我们扮演着许多不同的角色。
每颗星星都会有属于自己的太阳，月亮，云朵与凤。
一个陪伴自己的云朵与默默守护着你的太阳/
-
sunday; national juniors U-17
the rain set me thinking, the gastric pains plagued, i couldn't breathe.
shrugs-
i've been suppressing it all; it's getting into me.
went to seoul garden for dinner with
yl, chowchow, wy, kim, seon.
vegetables was all that was i could have, because of my weak stomach_-_
thanks for the fun and laughter anyway,
it was all i needed and all that i'd like to remember.
-
monday;
played table tennis(: childhood memories are the fondest((:
volleyball trng-
so much so for a team,
the price we all paid.
picking up the shattered pieces pricks me bad;
my mind's all saturated and it was all mass erased.
-
human minds are so hard to decipher as it complicates each day.
i'm sorry if i've changed,
and not the person you'd like to know no more,
but what else can i say if you don't understand? (perhaps i myself don't)
shrugs-
-
to end on e lighter note, : we had silent lessons with Mr Tan today.
and it proves more productive doesn't it? hahh.
oh and, HAPPYBIRTHDAY TWINNIE!(:
a twin never leaves, trust me on that.
-
a long winded post; posted by someone nearing fifteen-
and through it all, i'm feeling fifty.
how will tomorrow be? fill me in.
-
bleed me dry... ...

2007-04-06T11:39:00.000+08:00

i choose to remember what i've received;
and not what i've given.
-
sometimes, blissful ignorance is all i want-
so, keep me from the harsh reality.
-
shopped with bernice on 4th april for presents and she said
'you look like a santaclaus with no beard and white hairs' (:
random:i'm just have the sudden urge to buy loads of presents for my friends.
if my purse allow=/ nth to get for myself i suppose.
WHEE- spread the love!
-
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANHUI! <3
i'll see you later, but ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY!
as you celebrate 16 years of life.. ((:
-
oh my, i'd better not fall sake at this point of time. =/
shudders-

2007-04-03T20:32:00.000+08:00

出乎意料的成绩，莫名的力量。
it was unexpected, really;
shall strive for greater distances the upcoming competitions. (:
-
但，心痛比快乐更真实。
i want you well; do you know?
it pains me to see you hurt.
-
5 periods of maths in 2 days. drained.
class arrangement changed): i miss DTP!
she's like the one that keeps me motivated/bubbly and all. URGH-
but i'll like my new TP too. ng teng(:
-
challenging week ahead; i'll remain strong no doubt.
the persistant headaches/and the numbed nerves;
RAHH-
-
anyway, thanks to those who have supported me(: yep.
you know who you are and yes, much appreciated.
-
will you still be proud of me?

2007-04-01T13:17:00.000+08:00

it's better late than never;
-
Another sleepless night I can't explain
Somebody said they heard me call your name
The radio won't let you leave my mind
I know it's over but I don't know why

Should've known better
Than to fall in love with you
Now love is just a faded memory
Should've known better
Now I'm a prisoner to this pain
And my heart still aches for you

There was no risk that
I wouldn't take
And not a promise that
I didn't make
All I asked was that you just hold on
And now I'm wondering what I did wrong

I gave you all of my body and soul
Never believing we might lose control
I took my hands off the wheel

I can't remember if the lies were true
It's been a million years since I touched you
I thought time might help me win this game
But being away from you is slowly driving me insane
-
既然不再爱，就别因为责任而继续爱着你。
心里要的始终都是同一个人吧。
-
好想把过去像烧伤的皮一样拔掉；
长痛不如短痛，不是吗？
-
addicted to richard marx,
addicted to missing you all night;

2007-03-31T13:53:00.000+08:00

what's life if it's not to make it easier for others?
a quarter of 07 has gone by, so much have changed.
unbelievable no?
and i'm thankful to have survive through it all.
it's inevitable to get upset and disappointed at times,
but we've got to forgive and forget?
no one's perfect and i trust that it's not their intention to hurt.
oh please, don't prove me wrong.
-
it'll be lijie's birthday tmr, yanhui's on friday, ella's following tueday and mine.
i'd like to swim with the dolphins;
-
waiting for melissa and ng teng to come and settle our chinese project.
hmm- what have i done?
read, eat, sleep, piano, immersing in music.
oh my. if only there would be such tranquil times every now and then.
(:
-
anyway, to 3 people:
take care of your back,
take care of your elbow,
and take care of your ankle.
get well soon! (((:

2007-03-31T13:46:00.000+08:00

Where did I leave off?;
Let’s see. Tuesday’s training was pretty upsetting but yes, and so was Wednesday’s but I survived them all.
Wednesday! Went to Singapore heritage centre but me, labby, ng teng and joey left the place ourselves and went to YUM CHA! =D wow, the little bites there’s great laa! (:
（oh, &we missed our bus looking at stickers and had to follow another class back) OOPS! hahh-
Perhaps it’s the company! And I love labby too! =D
Thursday’s training was better than expected, somewhat self disciplined/motivated to do well.
Yes, the little pain physically won’t matter, will it? (:
-
Yupp- and here I am, self reflected to do better again!
Thanks to the following people anyway:
MELISSA`LABBY! , DTP`HUIXIN, MAVIS`XIAOYAO,
MELANIE MEIMEI, DADUPI JIEJIE! =D classmates too? =D
-
When everyth seems like a uphill climb,
Just a bath and a sleep and everyth will be alright.
I choose to face it, and make every moment a memorable and worthwhile one.
-
And you know, I’m still here for you;
Whenever/wherever you need me so.Just a call away no? ((:
-

2007-03-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

望着满天星斗的夜空，
突然在想你是否和我一样，
注视着同一颗星星。
曾在这夜空下许过的承诺，
你是否还记得？
~
表面上被太阳烧伤了，
心里头却是冰冷的，
好凄凉-
快被冻死了吧。
~
day to day,
the tight schedules and everyday trainings kept me busy;
但闭上眼，始终忘不了你的身影。
是你不专一，还是我太执著，太长情呢？
原来所谓的“好”朋友都是虚伪的。(sorry, it doesn't imply to all)
-
牵着你在天空飞翔，这样看世界就是不一样；
我选择坦然面对，你呢？
its human minds that complicate matters, why so?
shrugs-
-
wth am im wasting my time here? =/

2007-03-22T18:02:00.000+08:00

i had hsk course from 1.30-4.30 yesterday,
after which had weights trng till 6+/
then went out with faith to bugis and get mel's present(:
it's gonna look pretty, trust me! (:
-
hmm, guess the entire day was a rush.
rushing thru lessons and clarifying doubts with teachers.
rushing here and there then trainings. _-_
& i hope DTP doesn't get changed away):
and melissa claims that me and huixin sleeps like logs during free periods/ hah!
-
everyone's talking about the tissue and paper thing.
i shan't dabble with it,
we shan't know too much bout the future, should we?
~
if only it's so simple to clarify the doubts,
& undo the pain and hurt you've brought about.
if only you could see, all that's beyond me.
so much so i'd like to say;
they're more than words.
descend a level and look into my eyes,
perhaps you'll understand.
somehow, someway, someday, sometimes,
we'll become a whole again.
is that possible? ; fill me in
~
whee. as the weekend approaches;
might be meeting my lil boy after trng on sat,
and www and enjoying life on sunday((:
-
as 11th april draws nearer;
get me a ring from the depths of your soul.
a kiss/a hug/an assurance/a promise/ can you?
~
a random fact: i want to run a relay now! ):

2007-03-20T16:06:00.000+08:00

term 2; a new season to work hard for.
namely; academic, pianopractical and javelin.
~
relieved that all 4 common tests are over(:
history was tough(it ain't my subject) so i guess i did fine.
emaths was alright.
chemistry(i studied the wrong chapter somehow_-_)but i guess it was managable.
amaths.. i'm worried as usual but its all over(:
-
you're here, there's nth i fear.
it was once upon a time that we knew each other.
our dates were usually quiet but
its the chemistry that meant more than words.
there's so much i need to say to you,
so many reasons why;
you're the only one that really knew me at all-
so take a look at me now.. its just an empty space.
-
okay. anyway; school's been alot better that i thought(:
like yeah. with DTP, friends and volleyballers.
((:
drifted we may be,
but i find it hard to ignore you,
time and time again, i forgive.
friends we still are, through it all, i'll be here.
~
okay, what a random post.
it'll be a tiring physically term ahead but i'm positive bout it all.
in or out, so long as i did my personal best?
whether or not you are there, at least i know i'll be here.
~
dad's at toronto with only a windbreaker!
but it's snowing at -°C now! ):
-
the way it was;
the way we were.
so much so; beyond words.
<3>

2007-03-16T14:32:00.000+08:00

aren't they beautiful? (:

we look profession, don't we?((:

we had loads of fun anyway!
(((: angel.

oh my, yanhui's hungry- =/

as we hold on together;

muchloves<333

-
I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past,

I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need em again someday

I've been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not just somebody just to get me throught the night

I could use some direction

And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again I guess

I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration  Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love  

And if I open my heart to you

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

2007-03-16T13:46:00.000+08:00

this week's splendid once again!
if only march holidays never ends;
-
lets start with tuesday
14th march.
went out with faith cheah xiao yun! lol.
my first time being punctual for outings! so be honoured!
hahh- watched [music and lyrics]
had fun! pierced ear! =D
and this silly girl bought a banana for 75cents at starbucks! lol.
we were having so much fun that we forgotten all about movie review=/
(:
~
15th march
wednesday.
met up with melissa and ngteng after training!
whee! went from citylink to suntec to esplanade to marina square!
guess good friends needn't know bout your pasts;
for everyth starts anew! (:
yupp. we chatted/drank and starbucks/discussed/had fun and BOWLED!
caramel frappucino rocks! (: lol.
yesyes. basically, we had LOADS OF FUN!
and i really love the miniature musical intruments at the esplanade!
and took MANY PICTURES AND VIDEOS.
pictures soon(:
~
16th march
thursday!
went eastcoast park with yanhui! (:
okay, i've got a humongous appetite.
bought bread,pretzel,pizza and subway! lol-
sat by the breakwaters/took pics/chatted/ate/stargazed(:
the sky was initially overcast;
but its pretty amazing how it cleared( just for us )
yesyes. enjoyable(: its just ur presence that matters.
the stars were especially enchanting that night!
angel <3
~
17th march
friday-
trained under the hot sun_-_
okay, pretty fine but i guess i'll give class outing a miss.
hurt my back and its pretty uncomfortable now.
urgh- ):
-
anyway, this week's been great.
and next 2 days will be equally busy=/
yeah! muchloves to all<3
(((:

2007-03-11T16:59:00.000+08:00

its the stars; the stars that shine above all;

the stars that promise you light.

angels brought me here/

for you if you know

2007-03-11T11:49:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging; rushing around the entire week(:
lets see what's been going on since 3rd march.
-
o4/03/07
sunday.
went j8 to watch 'just follow law' which ended arnd midnight?
yes, dated mum out again(: /
05/03/07
monday.
there was training followed my macho dinner!
much fun despite the persistant headache.
chatted alot, had much fun!
we went SWEET SECRETS at j8/
huixin,joyce,wenhui,che'rie,xinying<3>
06/03/07
tuesday.
GEEHEE! went for a haircut with melanie! (:
i guess mine's of no much difference,
but the paranoid face on here when her hair was being washed was hilarious.
ate lunch at yoshi and dinner at kfc.
hahh- reminds be of our FRENCH FRIES STORY=D heh. /
07/03/07
wednesday.
training; and its really amazing how good it feels playing like a team(:
yupp! =P
happy. just like that(: /
08/03/07
thursday.
though we lost to jurong, its merely a point?
but we've learnt more than that in this short journey,
its the spirit, the enthusiasm, the unity, the will to fight it out that matters(:
we may have lost, but its the experience, the trials we went thru together that makes it all worthwhile(:
anyway, i'd like to thank some people for coming to support;
yanhui!,mayxuen,dtp,xy,faith,wh,evelyn and all. muchloves
-
then, went for dinner at sakae with eva and sabrina.
yupp, somehow felt a little pampered. but yeah. /
(:
o9/03/07
friday.
had oral. no comments laa. hah-
somehow there were some heartwarming scenes on the bus and in the music school.
a simple act of kindness makes my day(:
then its just training and piano lessons(: /
10/03/07
saturday.
had theory exam in e day. pretty chim.
hmm. then walked from queenstown mdis uni campus to crescent girls at tanglin road.
hahh- then took a bus down to PS with mom and bought my DOLPHIN JIGSAW!
it cost a bomb and there goes a quarter of my redpackets money.
but its all worthwhile!
=D
then off to east coast park with sabrina and met up with mel.
(: yupyup. did not go near the breakwaters, just walking from one end to another,
shopping, eating and screaming along the beach(:
hahh- and we put the unhappiness in a coconut and
dump it far into the sea! =D
poof* goes the fears. and the stars are ever so bright(:
-
what a happy post(:
the week ahead's gonna be busier and even happier perhaps
what more can i ask for?
happy happy; let everyone be happy. (((:
-
i'm looking forward to tuesday evening/night(:
ohoh, and can i pon trng on 11th april pls?
(((: i'll be back, when i have the time

2007-03-03T18:22:00.000+08:00

we were like two scared, crying school kids who were lost.

but when i felt your hand on mine, i felt no fear.

only warmth...

imu, do you know? you were here, there WAS nth i fear.

We locked hands till we reached my house.

Throughout the journey, we were silent,

as if words had suddenly vanished from our mind.

You released me gently and wiped off my tears.

Remember this. If you ever need me and I’m not around, just wait for me.

Because I’ll always be here.”

Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you.

But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you.

Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight.”

Two A.M and the rain is falling

Here we are at the crossroads once again

You’re telling me you’re so confused

You can’t make up your mind

Is this meant to be

You’re asking me”
But only love can stay

Try again or walk away

But I believe

For you and me

The sun will shine one day

So I just play my part

And pray you’ll have a change of heart

But I can’t make you see it through

That’s something only love can do…”

“You’re like the North Pole of a magnet bar,

and I’m like the North Pole of another magnet bar.

There’s no way for both of you to be close together.

There’s a force that’ll always push you both apart.

This force is called the obstacle of fear and indifferences.

“However, if you put a metal bar in between, both you magnets will stick to it.

And you’ll be close to each other.

That metal bar dissolves the force that pushes both of you away.

And that metal bar is what we called love.”

Memories light the corners of my mind,

Misty water color memories of the way we were

Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind,

smiles we gave to one another for the way we were.

Can it be that it was all so simple then,

or has time rewritten every line?

If we had the chance to do it all again,

tell me would we? Could we?

Memories may be beautiful, and yet,

what's too painful to remember,

we simply choose to forget.

So its the laughter,

we will remember, whenever we remember,

the way we were.

2007-03-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

hmm. nth seems right these days,
and i wonder why.
wondering used to be such a good thing,
where love would answer it all. shrugs-
-
anyway, well done C'girls(:
your spirit is commendable.
-
apart from that, trng was off,
and i better get my fitness level back before thursday-
yup yup.
a sudden breakcamp for the sec 3s=/
anyway, it got me like so so worried can.
at least i heard huixin and mayxuen's voices so far, and they're fine.
now now, is labbie, rena, yuting, twinnie, bernice, and all my other classmates doing fine? ):
i miss them.
i hope they did not catch the whatever disease thr=/
and for those who are unwell, get well soon.
-
the rain is pouring,
the lightning's flashing,
the thunder's sounding,
oh strike me oh strike me,
i'm so sick and tired,
i'm so beat down here.
take me away, hold me near,
to your warm embrace once again.
oh baby pls, won't you?
害怕达雷闪电，你在乎吗？
-
people change, people disappoints.
what's new anyway?
get use to it mann- we're giving in to you, can't you see?
=.-
and soon... everyone will be graduating.

2007-03-01T19:49:00.000+08:00

we did our best no?
thought i felt the spirit.
-
i'm tired. fatique.
the cramps, the gastric pain's killing me.
the numbness in my hand and
the emptiness within isn't helping me either.
shrugs-
-
at least we're gonna give it all out next thurs,
there's nth to lose anyway.
and i beg you, let this season be good.
-
there's so much to do, and i'm already on the verge of breaking.
tired of doing things according to logic, like what's right and wrong.
i no longer have emotions maybe-
-
soon, we'll be saying goodbye to term 1.
soon, it'll be term 2 , 3 ,4...
soon... nah.forget it.
~~stab me~~

2007-02-28T20:01:00.000+08:00

A team consists of all of us, not just one individual. Perhaps in a game, we are more concerned about our own performance, rather than the team spirit on a whole.
Cedar volleyball has got the skills and abilities, but we lack the team spirit. Cliché as it may sound, it is true and significant. We should encourage each other, motivate each other, and put some effort in getting the team together.
-
Perhaps, we could come to the middle of the court and give each other a pat after each ball. It is to encourage each other if we have lost a point, or to motivate and acknowledge if we have done well. Make it a habit and build up the confidence in the team, and not let the opponents’ spirit intimidate us.
-
We need to fight for our goals with gusto. Make this our season; it’s OUR common goal, OUR passion, OUR dream, OUR championship

hold high our banner gold and grey, won't we?

2007-02-28T19:51:00.000+08:00

Perhaps I realized what I’m lacking now,
It’s not the attachment to someone,
But the sense of belonging in the society, class, team.
and if only you could see, what i mean.
-
I’m not sure if I’m about to lose a friend now,
But all I’m sure is, I mean well.
I want you to understand that it’s wrong committing yourself to the wrong thing,
its tough, I know it.
It’s my class, my team that matters most in school now,
I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, but I need to do what I think is right.
Where have I gone wrong? I’m losing a friend.
Is it me or you? But you just seem too adamant.
and if only you could feel, what i mean.
-
Sometimes it bewilders me how people change, perhaps I myself did.
Shrugs-
But really, it’s for the welfare of everyone on a whole.
if only you could understand, what i mean.
-
Where have I gone wrong?
Haven’t I tried to hear you out, am I not making an effort?
Where have I gone wrong?
I’m losing a friend.
Can she see the tears, can she see that I’m trying.
Where have I gone wrong again?
-
If only you could see, what I see.
i've done wrong once, don't do it again please.
-
my tear glands are hyper active today,
and i wonder why.
angel, where are you? when i needed you most. ):

2007-02-26T19:24:00.000+08:00

looking back its quite unbelievable what had became of us,
looking back, its quite amazing how we've kept in touch since we were a little kid;
-
yet there are some, that barely stayed.
somehow, all this memories seem so near yet so far,
its amazing how time flies;
and how much we've drifted as the clock strikes 12 everyday-
and i know its fading like all my others,
and soon, it'll be just another milestone with no emotions anymore.
-
i guess, the true ones will never leave, no matter how little we communicate-
its pretty astonishing how much i've grown,
how much i've changed over the years.
i'll take it that its a positive change within me. (:
-
highlights of this season!
VOLLEYBALL NATIONALS!
&its commencing tmr.
our dream, our goal, our passion,
OUR championship, OUR year, OUR season.
make it a memorable one(:
-
& i'll do you proud, i promise.
are you still proud of me?

2007-02-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

suddenly its the kinship and the little tingling warmth i feel
with friends that matter.
went to yanhui's place, its real cosy(: i slept. hahh, what's new?lol.
a new year, seeing the little ones grow and
become big sisters of e younger ones.
its really touching and 温馨ba。
-
though i know things wouldn't be as simple for them as they grow,
but they made me realise that the greatest gift in life
is the joy, the kinship, the growing process.
虽然不知道这路会把我带到哪儿，但最重要的是要活得有意义吧。
-
anyway, i realised that i've been eating lots of
greens and drinking green tea lately.
hahh-
okay, till now, i'm thankful for all that has been here for me.
namely, the volleyballers, mich liew, juliana, fatmom, labpartner(:
people come and go, as their social circle increase,
as their hearts and priorities change
and though i can't have all the friends, its time i learn
to cherish those who are true and real. <3>
and till then, you guys are the ones. ((:
-
somehow, life's made simple again.
where all my worries lies in doing well for volleyball and studies.
for bringing the little joy and laughter,
the little care and concern which brings much comfort.
-
and yes, i know my ankle will be strong again,
my wrists will be fine,
my headaches will be gone,
for i have faith, for i am calm, for i'm sure i'm doing my best.
be it friendswise, studies and volleyball.
anyway, MELANIE, JIAYOU too!
-
nationals starts next week.
prelims- jurong, xinmin, chungcheng.
cedar steady ace!

2007-02-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

a pretty tough week, and i foresee a busier month ahead.
with nationals, campfire night and theory exam.
won't be gg for throws trng for weeks or maybe months.
the pressure of doing well and in volleyball is getting into me.
shrugs-

my body's showing signs of fatique and i need the rest real bad.
so it ain't a bad thing skipping trng afterall.
-
yes, i lost my battle, i cried.
moments of solitude,
moments when i let it out,
moments when i know i need you ~~nomore~~
-
i miss you, do you know?-
and never once can i still the voice that's calling out ur name.
i bought my swimming costume and wrist guard.
but i can't find my dolphin/grandpiano jigsaw puzzle):
-
okay.i'm sorry for the disappointment;
i don't wish to cause my team their dreams,
i don't know laa! im tired, can't you see?
-
and yes, stay away from me, im pretty irritable lately.
nth shall mean much anymore. the world's self centred-
*its pretty clear now, i'll drift further each day,
till someday you won't even realise that im gone.
prolly you were never my best afterall
-

ITS OK ITS OK, FOR BABY, YOU'RE MY ANGEL.
-

2007-02-21T17:51:00.000+08:00

CNY!
it was better than expected, though there wasn't any
gambling nor staying up at night,
eve was all about going to the temple, packing of room and reunion dinner.
(: yup. its been long since we had a meal together, simple, short,
but somewhat cherished.
-
day 1
half day of visiting in my new flare white skirt! C= hehh
and temple in the morning too.
i prayed for you, and everyone else. (:
-
day 2
mugged in the day and off to uncle's house at night
in my short denim skirt(: hahh-
people says i've slimmed down! GEE!
perhaps its just my baggy clothes in the past=/
-
day 3
went coach's house, and sang karaoke? lol.
then met yh and off to my house(:
yearly gathering with dad's curry fish head.
pretty enjoyable? and i hope yh was entertained(:
of cause, yanhui and mengmei made my day alot alot.
<3
-
you can't get everyone together everytime,
no one's that free even if you'd wish everyone is.
nevertheless, take things slowly,
or it'll get too tiresome and lose its meaning.
and yes, i miss alot of people now.
and i'll let it be, as long as it doesn't get overwhelming.
all reflections have been done in my diary, so shan't make any repetition ba.
-
anyway, what's life if its not to make it easier for others arnd you?
you don't become insensitive to other people's feelings
just because they've hurt/neglected you.
its all about accepting them again and care.
-
just let me be happy;
before getting all stressed up again later on
its the piano, its the piano that makes it all complete.
(((:
my only regret is not able to go for oac): pouts-

2007-02-15T19:43:00.000+08:00

what am i doing here? i don't know=/
have been mugging for hours,
and drifted into my illusional land once again.
-
Oh,Oh Im not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Dont know what I was missing or why I aint listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiousity
Now that its over
What else could it be he just had to cheat

I made a promise never to settle
Why didnt I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

Im not missing you
Im not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
Im not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know Im usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time its different
I dont even feel the distance
Im not missing
Im not missing you

Its a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

No I cant be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I cant keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when its right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone elses life

Im not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I know Im usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance
Im not missing
Im not missing you
-
time and time again,
i fall, i braced up, i struggled to find the answer.
its time to take things slowly,
and know that we can't have everyth coming our way,
we can't please everyone,
that time seem to pass so quickly,
that we turned into the wrong path.
its time to slow down,
let people come and go.
just do your utmost for one, (u can never do it for all)
and not let emotions get over you.

i ain't gonna cling onto you no more,
i'd rather be a pillar for one to lean on when they're tired.
till someone melts the lock within me-
-
forgiven but not forgotten.
专署天使-
你到哪儿去了？

2007-02-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

thanks to huixin, nurul, mavis, rena, melissa, ngteng, annmarie, machos, charlotte, throwsseniors, yanhui, inez, mujia, weiling'er, melody, jinhui, michelle, mushroom, juliana and alot more(: volleyballers! 3/oohs(:
-
they made my they someway or another.
and i miss daddy! inez daddy! ):
how long has it been since i actually talked to you? pouts-
-
GEE- i shall be happy since its valentines(:
the emptiness won't surface laa, so why appear low?
-
开心就好，因为我是星星！=D

2007-02-14T18:21:00.000+08:00

its valentines.
不知为何，今年的情人节特别孤独，
内心冷冷的，麻麻的。
并不难过，只是开心不起来吧。
its okay, its a day to care and share,
and i'm greatful to all who thought of me.
and i hope those that receive likes the presents.
its all about the sincerity that i want to see.
内心好沉重，好空虚，
也许不敢爱了吧=/
-
on this special day, its all gratitude that i wish to express.
i thank my classmates for supporting me,
especially labpartner, dearesttable partner, yt, pn, nt and all(:
i thank my volleyball mates for all their encouragement
despite all the attitude i've show.
especially the 2MICHELLES.
one(mushroom) who always scolds in a pretty harsh tone,
and the other(chillipadi) who assures and supports me through.
chantal and others too(:
and jiaolian for all that you've done for me,
我不会在自暴自弃了。 i'll do my best.
and all my teachers from cedar primary,
i wonder if its mere coincidence, but everytime i'm down,
on the verge of breaking down, someone would send me a touching message,
leave someth for me at the security post,
just to assure me that someone cares. thank God for them(:
-
anyway, bumped into my pri 1-6 classmate, and we started talking a great deal, perhaps that's my best valentines gift(:
i miss them all , i really do.
i want to date the 7of us.linda,kristine,joyce,eileen,jiahui,meryl.
and the 3. wenjia, kelly, me? hahh-
and all the 6-1 peeps!
someday i'll initiate outings, after my activities ain't that packed.
pardon me for being busy=/
-
somehow i realise, people you love, need not love you.
and there are others out there whom you don't realise,
have been there guiding you along, loving you.
对别人有要求，带来的也只是一次又一次的失望。
我宁愿对自己要求多一些，爆炸了，也无所谓吧。
-
放慢步伐，停下脚步，欣赏周围的花草树木，
欣赏周边的一切，欣赏夜晚里的星星。
-
现在也只想，躺在无边无际的草原上，欣赏这一闪一闪的星星。
-
if only you could see, what i see-

2007-02-12T18:15:00.000+08:00

the star filled sky
left the emptiness behind.
and i can't still the voice,
that's calling out your name.
i'll bring you to that particular spot;
if you'd allow me to.
someday, our dream will come true.
-
anyway, i can't wait for this week to pass,
i can't stand valentines day nor new year.
shrugs- let it past let it past, let me sleep thru this festive season.
for i'm too tired, too beat to celebrate.
pardon me for all that i've done wrong;
for all the attitude i've shown.
especially coach and teammates.
im sorry.
3 pretty important tests tmr=/
-
anyway,
happy birthday wenyi and seon!
(if you happen to hop into my blog)
-
Let me drown let me drown let me drown let me drown-
结成冰的泪，
内心好冰冷，
无法呼吸了。
slit my wrist, stain the ice.

2007-02-10T15:10:00.000+08:00

where words fail,
music speaks.
-
its all about doing your best,
feeling accomplished no matter what outcome.
achievements are merely vitamins that perks you up for a moment,
and forgotten thereafter.
i'm doing my best; i really am and i hope you can see.
-
happy 21st birthday brother! <3
-
its valentines again; and new year,
ain't got the festive mood.
but i guess its all about the giving and sharing(:
-
anyway, 3/0's OOHLALA land is fun C='
i'm a banana! yellowyellow banana!
dadupijiejie's a cow and rena's a native! =D
-
off to chalet soon! wildwildwet with cousin maybe? ;P
mugmugmug(((:
no one has got everyth,
but we should all be glad to have smth?
-
我愿变成。。。
一只带你过河的乌龟，
一只带你过大海的海豚。
-
on my way to be a ...
100%sporty musically inclined NERD! C=

2007-02-08T18:49:00.000+08:00

decided to blog now anyway, wouldn't have the time in the next few days.
hmm, C'girls, continue to work hard.
speak to us if you need, we've all been through it,
the setbacks, the failures, but we'll all learn and do better. trust me(:
cheer up meimei!
-
i've got hmt test tmr, then trng, then piano(theory!). /
and i've got training, oac skit preparation, bio project and shopping on saturday./
and chalet in the weekends_-_ okay, i'll stay in to mug i guess=/
i'll have class skit and trngs on monday./
i've got geog test, eng test, amaths test and semifinals on tuesday13th. urghh./
that's quite alot to get in when i'm out both weekends! /

arghh-
i'm like so behind time! anyway, i'm looking forward to the skit!
its called nana-cow conflict!
hahh- because of the story behind;
the BANANAS and the COWS! lol! gin's brain's real cranky! C=
it seems loads of fun though! hehh.
-

2007-02-07T18:05:00.000+08:00

ups and downs; it happens throughout the day doesn't it?
i'll lie low(:
anyway, thanks to some volleyballers who believed in me ever so much(:
like hsinyi, chantal, charlotte, mavis and others?
i'll do my best, i always will, it everyth.
i love fatmama & fatdaughter(:
i miss twinnie and chowchow! C=
anyway, talked pretty much to yuting. lol. the real me ain't what i appear to be no?=/
trained all day except for tuesday; went to mug with sabby and home with yh(:
-
突然觉得快乐，开朗多了，我真得挺幸福的巴（：
我很快乐，也许大家对于快乐的定义都打不相同。
有的追求财富，物质上的享受，
有的则需要和一群朋友随着逛街，煌欢，玩闹。
也有的有着某种神灵的寄托。
也有些在他人，一个非常特别要好的朋友上寻找快乐，温暖，
且在他身上有了喜怒哀乐，并依赖他人。
一路上，学会了一切不能够勉强，否则会越陷越深。
即使跌倒了，也得自己爬起来。
虽然没有一个最要好的朋友，但我至少有朋友。
我在自己的世界里，找到了一丝丝的家庭温暖与快乐。
只想一心一意地做好分的事与在适当时，照料他人。
一切顺其自然吧，凡是尽力就好，不可放弃。
简简单单是快乐，傻是福。
即使累了，也能够无怨无悔的说：'i've done my best'
-
be grateful for all that you have.
more joy than woes, the week's ahead gonna be a busy one=/
shites- ah wells, i'll do all fine- =D

2007-02-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

i need a friend;
someone i can speak ceaselessly too,
someone i can relate too,
someone i can feel with my heart,
someone whom shares my woes and joy,
someone who will get my troubles off me,
and not one who i always have troubles with.
apparantly, only those you love are capable to hurt.
i don't see the rational behind all this;
i can't hate, i can't love.
or perhaps its just me.
-
look deep into my eyes,
and perhaps you could see;
what i see. the pain, the hurt, the agony.
-
perhaps its in solitary,
that one will understand
and realise the mistakes they've made,
that one will understand
and know the hurt they've inflicted unintentionally.
that one will mature and grow,
that one will realise,
life wouldn't just pause nor stop even if you're bleeding,
that everyone just won't learn.
-
小小年纪的我，不爱吵闹，
但还是快快乐乐的在机场个每个角落
留下脚印。
当时的我，带着小朋友的心态，
好奇地看待事物，
觉得世界好奇妙，好美丽。
现在的我，正在机场。
比起以往无忧无虑的我一是天渊之别。
脚步沉重了，快乐的回忆也渐渐淡忘了。
机场改变了，那快乐，开朗的女生也消失了。
-
was pretty alright till i saw someth,
anyway, motivated to throw further,
spike better,
block accurately,
receive well,
and to score well.
its just my natural instinct to numb the pain.

2007-02-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

its the weekends again!(:
a month has gone by, i can hardly remember anyth that has happened,
apart from using up 3pen inks and 1entire foolscap=.=
-
anyway sorry for all the emo posts and to those arnd me.
the emotions and moodswings overwhelmed me a little,
and have been pretty irritable lately=/
ain't feeling too good these days, nauseas? gastris? breathless? ain't sure):
guess coach's upset with me?
for not playing well and still looking happy after that?
i'm sorry, i can't look sad, i can't tear the way i used to anymore.
but i'll learn, i'll do better.
-
match on thursday,
talked pretty much to mich and char((: thanks, they made me speak, and laugh.
then met yh at j8 and off home C:
-
anyway, i dread valentines_-_ shrugs-
13th-semi finals
16th-finals
-
虽然天天穿得厚厚的，
内心深处还是冰冷的。
-
its been so long since i received a big warm embrace,
its been so long since i felt my last kiss
its been so long since i shared my thoughts
its been so long since i revealed by inner self
its been so long its been so long
since i had a friend.
i know its unfair for me to say this,
but those who have been there for me know who they are,
and i'm thankful for them(:
-
BUBU the RABBIT<3

2007-01-30T15:35:00.000+08:00

谁说星星没了太阳不再闪烁？;
i'll not let the gloomy clouds obscure the shimmering stars within/
只剩下钢琴陪伴着我;
度过漫长的黑夜。
-
getting myself all exhausted during training;
以是一种解脱吧。
别怪我太aloof;
因为当我需要你时，你总是不在。
-
i'm shining like a candle in the dark
~~when you tell me that you love me~~
-
一针刺下，
我麻醉了。
累了，但我只能对自己说： i've done my best.
-
好想睡，睡到梦境能成为事实。

2007-01-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

'许多人因为不能放弃的爱情而放弃了友情。'

somone posted this on yh's tagboard; inez was it? shrugs-

just thought of quoting it here, hope neither of you mind.

what the hell am i doing here? i've got plenty of work, and test to mug for.

i've been coping well, doing well, why the hell am i losing concentration here_-_

anyway, thought i was pretty expressionless during training today.

perhaps while i see everyone having fun in their own groups, in their own world,

all i see was you and i at opposite corners of this happy picture of life.

all that matters now is doing well in all aspects

i shan't think bout farewell, but i do hope

smth would be done before its really a little to late.

望着天空，突然星星不再闪烁。

你是否也在乎天空有没有星星？

偶尔有一颗在闪烁时，

你又是否会同样的想起我呢？

our 8pm date-

okay-

off to drown myself in work.

i'm a busy person.

再也不会在白天流泪，我忘了怎么哭了。

2007-01-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

another week has passed; pretty quickly.
so much done and undone.
many things happened; mainly volleyball.
shrugs- all the conflicts, doubts and misunderstandings.
hope we do forgive and forget this time, resolve all unnecessary disagreements.
we'll emerge champions, we'll be united, we'll hold on together and fight till the very end(:
so far so good i guess.
3/o's great, for all their encouragement, cheers when i received some kind of recognition, go for competitions... etc etc. ((: real thankful. apart from the rudeness and disrespect of some towards the teachers.
especially lab partner-melissa and DTP-huixin(:
coping well with sec 3 life(: somehow motivated to study hard, train hard.
so many dreams i'm striving for, since you left..
-
beep*, nth's gonna get us down alrights(:
-
this week, the team cried on many occasions, apparantly everyone did.=/
but i didn't. i can't. i'm not gonna.
ain't the same girl you see anymore.
but do you ever know how much i wrench deep down.
i swallowed my tears and drown my fears;
for i promised not to express the emotions within on court/
-
表面上好坚强，
但夜深人静的我，
你又知道多少？
温馨与冷酷，你以离我远去。
但太阳升起，我有得快乐了。
-
why search so hard; so painstakingly for someone to care;
why fight so hard to get the person that could keep you safe from harm;
when here i am, looking over you?/ perhaps i ain't the one you need-
-
林歆正积极的面对人生（：
i'm sorry, but you can't find love in my dictionary no more. its only for my family.

2007-01-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

sudden urge to blog(:
i'm happy today, somehow, somewhat, i'm feeling good.
Glad that we're all fine now. Glad that i'm on the right track. Glad that i've gotten my priorities right. Glad that i have my love ones.Glad that i see my turtle(the turtle in the drain outside cps)again!=D my dearest=turtle!(:
training went on pretty fine, then back home and off to relative's house.
i ate one meal at 3pm today((: gee-
i think of you time to time, but it doesn't hurt no more.
i'm not missing you.
-
then shopped from 7-10? seems like several relatives went there as well(: whee.
its been pretty long since i shopped with mom(:
and i love it so. esp when all's in good mood.
bought a pair of adidas sports shoes(:
and i have this feeling i left my new nike in the locker.
HAHH- =P which means i'll have 2!
settled sab, jan, and someone's birthday present. 5 peeps to be exact.
-
alrights.i've got a diary to write all the thoughts, and give thanks for all that made me smile.
and a sketch book to draw all that i see when i feel inspired,
and of cos i'll have my competition diary everywhr i go since its competition period?
(: yes! i feel so motivated towards our goal. whee.
nth beats playing and singing on the piano.
-
ok.guess i'll blog less.
competitions, trainings, tests, homeworks, theory exam that's coming up real soon.
got to keep the momentum gg. ((:
-
hahh.currently waiting for the youtube thing in yh's blog to load finish.
'wo ceng jing ye tong yang de shou hu zhe yi ge nv hai,
zhi dao xian zai, yi zhi dou mei you gai bian. '
-
to those before and in advance...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MELISSA, REBECCA(16th january)
SABRINA, EDWIN(23rd january)
BEEEP*(1st february)
=D

2007-01-18T19:50:00.000+08:00

before i post anything else;
i've got to give credit of all that has happened over the week.
just had an urge to post(:

monday- school team was announced, glad everyone was feeling fine(: ;
went yanhui's class for maths 'remedial' by her,agnes,denyse? hahh=D
this shall be a routine every jogging days? ((:
tuesday- Ms jo's emotional; and huixin came over to study(:
and she ended up posing as a chemistry teacher_-_
wednesday-realised that there's so many left handers in class=D
took photos,hahh. and mayxuen's also known as DADUPI xuenxuen!
thursday- first southzone match against bt.merah. its was fine(:
then i went for dinner with mavis, hsinyi and a few others. saw YUMIN on the way back!
okay, we had a lot of laughters, and that certainly made my day C=
-
I see you becoming me and me becoming her.
My game has ended and your's has just begun.
Unsure of the outcome, seeing you drift further each day.
And all i can say is that a carpet made by promises and words
isn't secure nor safe to ride on.
I ain't gonna cry for you,
neither will i cry because of you,
but i'll cry with you if you need me so. i'll care, i'll comfort.
that's the least i can promise you.
-
looking back, i feel alright, seeing how much my burden has lifted(:
-
It's been a long and winding journey,
but i'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces,
walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory,
where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling,
when i look into your eyes...

[Bridge]My dreams came true,
when i found you
I found you, my miracle...

[Chorus]If you could see, what i see,
that you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel,
the tenderness i feel

You would know,
it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...

[Verse 2]Standing here before you,
feels like i've been born again
Every breath is your love,
every heartbeat speaks your name...

[Bridge 2]My dreams came true,
right here in front of you
My miracle...

[Chorus]If you could see, what i see,
you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel,
the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...

[Bridge 3]Brought me here to be with you,
I'll be forever grateful (oh forever Faithful)
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle...

[Chorus]If you could see,
what i see, you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...Y

es they brought me here...
If you could feel, the tenderness i feel...
You would know, it would be clear,
that angels brought me here...
-
heard this song firstly sung by my cousin in law during their wedding,
happen to hear it again, and it brought my emotions back.
if you could see, what i see,
you'LL be the answer to my prayers.

2007-01-09T19:59:00.000+08:00

another week has passed.
i was happy; all light and fine till friday. shrugs-
we'll go xiaoguilin someday soon sure sure?(:
-
friday and saturday;
my mind was fighting, like the angel & devil sort of thing.
i was being sensitive to all that appeared in before me, i know, i'm sorry.
a barrier between the world and i is forming again.
i'm ashamed. for not being able to keep the tears from falling;
but i'm tired, my mind's in a twirl.

i finally understood how she felt.
i want to show you the loneliness,
and what it does.

never once had the melodies on the piano sound so deep;
so heart felt to this subconscious mind of mine.

so many thoughts, so many images of my memories,
i see them replaying in you two,
i fear the vicious cycle.
the thoughts, the images like films, all so colourful,
they turn to fast so fast that all left was white and blank;
and that's how i'm feeling.
-
i'll forgive everything even if i can't forget,
and start anew.
i'll runaway and certain points,
just not to affect those arnd me.
unwell, sleepy, whiny,
just to hide the fear in me.
i'll get things done,
do my best in all aspects.
i'll care for those who needs it,
i'll be strong.
the true nobility lies in being superior to your previous self.
-
TIAN ZONG HUI HEI; REN YE HUI LEI.
i'm tired.let me sleep a little longer.thankyou.

2007-01-06T18:43:00.000+08:00

a week of school has passed; and i'll be here once a week(:i'm thankful for this week!

all the nice, friendly, noisy classmates whom never fail to amuse the teachers.

3/o's the best i had. really(:

and my dearest table partner tayhuixin=DWHEE!

the chirpy macho table during recess!

grateful for all the beautiful deeds i've seen-

how people cheered and support one another,

how someone picked up my book, wallet and keys and returned to me,

how people helped this visually impaired man up the bus,

how this man helped picked up the bottle cap for the mom,

how someone's having fun playing hide-and-seek with a golden retriever,

and everyth from training to lessons.

God sent them to make me smile(:

i'll do my best and push my limits further bit by bit;

for there's nth hindering my progress now.
perhaps i've really grown stronger; i'll smile at the slightest thing i see(:

shoot for the moon,

for even if you miss,

you'll land among the stars(:

though humans falter,

they'll pick themselves up at the end of the day.

happy of sad,

its all in the mind.

thank God for everyth this week;

a good start indeed! & yes, i'll be here when you need me so!

2007-01-02T15:23:00.000+08:00

Its a new year once again.

all that we've gone thru in 2006 has become history.

Its a new year of smth special,

a new beginning of smth exciting.

& as the next chapter of our lives unfold,

and we're unsure of what the future may hold;

fret not.

& as the pages of the past diary yellows,

and the words fade away;

do not dismay.

We've got to start afresh,

and learn despite the crash.

For correction tape/fluid doesn't work,

in this book of life.

stop the tears,

start the gear;

drive the fears.
& i'll learn to still the voice; that's calling out your name.
-
31st! -ended this year with relatives on daddy's side.
pratically drank myself to the next year at downtown east. (:
1st! i started this year great(: with movies at westmall with carine!=D
and we smuggled BANANA pizza/MANGO pizza &MUSSELS into the theatre(:
hahh.sat between all the couples and i think our food smells strong?hahh!
then off to uncle's house for family gathering..
reached home at 4am.=/
-
a brilliant start with this clear, distinct rainbow at full arc.
right above uncle's house. GOSH!
i'll blog the rainbow captured on cousin's phone asap=D
=D

2006-12-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

why is it so tough to maintain a special and heartfelt friendship;

&yet not fall into the traps of romance?

why weren't there enough trust between us to hold on to what we believe and promised?

a word unstraight doesn't end it all and its not an excuse.

how much more do you need me to emphasise heartfelt friends we shall be?

holding you close was the past; &i know i can't get near you now.

wasn't there enough cherishes to even maintain smth this special?

or perhaps we weren't meant to be, & you're not the special friend i'm looking for.

you seem to get on easy.

&perhaps everyth/everyone's the same to you.PERHAPS

i'd wish you'd prove me wrong.

i miss Giant=/

Love is just by caring & understanding;

just being there for each other on fair and bad weathers;

doing the little things that shows concern

and brightening one day.

that's what love means in friendship no?

All the world's a stage

And all the men and women

merely players.

They have their exits and

their entrances;

And one man in his time

plays many parts.

i just want to be someone there for you;

the person you think of when you need someone,

and the person you call when you need to rant.

i just want to be someone who cares for you;

the person who cheers you up everytime you're feeling down.

i just want to do my best in all, and not be a disappointment in any other way.

& this applies to all my best pals.

& will you be my bestie?

2006-12-30T14:02:00.000+08:00

28th thursday..
out at PS with sabby from 3 to 10;
lazy to travel to harborfront so no sakae/no green tea ice cream):
macho outing was cancelled): ah well.
went starbucks for chocolate eclair but i ain't comparable to the one at delifrance. -pouts
but oh we did have lots of fun! at yamaha(: i like the lil piano clock! so prettaye=D
&i bought right here waiting score((:
then we watched night at the museum which got us laughing with the entire packed theatre(((:
the extinguisher that somehow became whipp cream? lol. dumbdumb wants gumgum!
and off for dinner; talked alot.
bout the upsetting past as well as absurd crushes on thai guys=/ HAHHH-
ohoh.we love thailand=D
-
29th friday..
trng/lunch at pizza hut/library/home=D
30th saturday..
trng and home((:
-
resting; recuperating my arm(: everyth will get better and it'll be a better year ahead.
just do it! (:
okay.. i'll be in 3/o next year!; and it seems fun with people like...
mayxuen, rena, huixin, parveen, yuting?, sonam and many others(:
a fun class it will be!=D but will anyone be there to share my woes?wipe my tears?
-

2006-12-25T10:45:00.000+08:00

Strained/pulled some tissue/muscle in my left arm, it was awful.

a blocker that can't block=/ ah well. - .

and the rain made me slip a countless times and all the hurting bones in my legs.bleah.

have been pretty stressed up these days.

competitions weeks from now, what a time to hurt my arm. )):

kimmie; prolly its smth i would not understand,

but do be strong. hurt by someone you love so dearly, and trust ain't present/

do forgive.

just remember, i believe you, i trust all that u say,

& WE won't forsake u. i love you so...

God knows.

when satan reminds you of the past;

remind him of his future.

i'm not missing you; i'm not. there are somethings which i needn't know, and don't want to know. why the hell do i even go and find out?

and what the hell's got into me?

posting this in a drunk state; 40%of alcohol ain't me,

but i needed it so. let me be.

i wish time stand stills now; i need a break.

anyway; things cherished.

thanks seon for the mianbaochaoren=D

thanks kimmie for the YETBIGGEST pinwheel(:

& melanie for the advices and dolphin! thanks girl!

i love you my lil girl=D

i don't want to be d****e no more.

once.. always.. ; its all a lie.

but do call me baby one more time. i don't wish for the wrong.

2006-12-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

DOLPHIN! its 2 days old now((:
peek-a-boo! us today=D

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

watched the holiday with kimberly, chantal, michh, mavis! (:

touching love stories, hilarious random stuffs C=

all's well other than the post movie syndrome=/ active tear gland? HAHH.

went starbucks! ate bananarama muffin with caramel frapp! =D

but we did have fun, under the rain. extraodinary christmas eve i guess.

sorry;

i know i'm a pretty in my own world person that made you sian-ned,

i'll change, i'll adapt, i'll be socialble(:

but never will i take away the barrier; can't afford to lose myself again.

next week's gonna be a busy one.

*got to do all the theory and stuffs; photoshop on monday.

*some planning and volleyball training at vjc; and 'shopping at popular on tuesday

*training and maybe watch charlotte's web on wednesday.

*prolly sentosa, sakae sushi with sab and (maybe kim&seon) ; sleepover on thursday

*training; sleepover on friday.

*training &iceskating? on saturday

this is the perfect plan; unsure if able to make it for all though(:
-

the new year's approaching; and everyth starts anew.

where the past cease to haunt.

time passes unbelievably quick and i'll be fifteen soon.

with new subjects, new teachers, new classmates.

resolutions for a better me; a smoother journey.

2006-12-23T19:50:00.000+08:00

22nd was pretty weird to start off with but ended prettily(:
training got me frightened; and i seriously prayed that coach was fine.
yes, he replied today, saying he's okay. thank God. =D
(for i fear the looks in the eyes of a leaving soul=/)
went keat's house, lunch, chatted, playground, dinner, million treasures. (:
had fun with pictures=D
get well soon Huixin((: loves.
we love MACHISMO! =D
-
23rd. just another training day?
doing some rough job with heavy weights-.-
i look like some clumpsy inexperience santa clause laa_-_
but it was pretty fun? C=
then out with kimmie(: haircut! whee!
hehh.and there goes my pony tail again=/ hahh.
a sad truth:i've got a big head! -pouts.
but i'm feeling light & pretty happy;
apart from a wounded finger, hurting knee caps, &unwell. _-_
-
okay, i'll do a survey from yanhui.
hmm..
1.Single, taken or crushing?
-- single
2.Are you happy with your life now?
-- i got to admit that i feel blessed(:
3.When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast?
-- shrugs, yet to meet. but i do believe that love is a process.
4.Have you ever been heartbroken?
-- to a certain extent, yes.
5. Do you believe that there are some circumstances, where cheating love is acceptable?
-- depends, but no.
6.Would you take someone back even if he/she cheats on you?
-- if the person manage to melt the barrier between.; otherwise, no.
7.Have you talked about marriage to someone else before?
-- i was still a little kid back then.
8. Do you want children?
-- yes, to make life perfect.
9.How many?
-- 4?=/
10.Would you consider adoption?
-- not really; for pet maybe? _-_
11. If someone likes you now, what do you think is the best way for him/her to let you know his/her feelings?
-- sincerity, patience, care & concern.
12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
-- that's if it last forever. in short, i don't.
13. Do you believe in love at first sight?
-- prolly.
14. If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?
-- somewhere simple with nature close.
15. Do you give in easily when fighting?
-- depends, but i usually do.
16. Do you believe you can change someone?
-- yes; for the better if possible.
17. Do you have feelings for anyone now?
-- nah. the time ain't right.
18. Have you broken a heart?
-- shrugs- i guess i did; but i hope not.
19. Do you ever wished that you could have had someone but you messed it up?
-- my deepest regret; friendships, yes. ):
20.If one day your best friend falls in love with the guy/girl you are deeply in love with, what will you do?
-- i can't take the pressure; will prolly walk away & if he/she comes back to me, i'll know he/she's mine.
21. Are you missing anyone ?
-- uh huh; i guess so.
22. Now you have to ask 5 friends to do this survey in their blog.
alrights, let me think of 5 randoms. +1?
-beeep!
-bin big bro!
-mavis
-seon
-haiyun
-amanda
-
doubt anyone comes to my blog, so=/ ain't sure if anyone's gonna do it.

2006-12-19T19:47:00.000+08:00

did anyone realised that i've walked out of the crowd in the midst of all thy happiness?
& i'm seeking comfort in my piano;
knowing that i'm different, knowing that the barrier musn't be taken off.
-
If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come I'll realise
You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad
Walking down the streets of nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name
-
meimei and i jumped arnd in the puddles before & after training.
left, right.. left *SPLASH! w
we had fun, the laughters, the tears of joy,and all the squeashy soaked feets=D she made me behave like i've never been, the little kid within me.thanks my little girl. ((:
-
RAIN.
down comes the rain,
washing away my pain.
these droplets form a melody,
a melody of the broken heart;
the puddles of sorrow,
the ripples of hurt that last for eternal.
but i love the rain, for it masked my tears,
down into the drain, goes my hidden fears.
and yes, i wish the rain will never end.
and i soaked my pillow again.
~~stop triggering my emotions, stop before you here the bang~~
-

2006-12-18T00:47:00.000+08:00

home after four days in thailand.

i love the skirt i bought. ballerina-

prayed, shopped, watched transexual performance=/, eat, drinking beer, relax.what more can i ask for? (:
*alrights. teared on the plane=/
was watching this parting/music prodigy/korean movie=/

&i fear the turbulance.

the plane sinked as there were air pockets along the way.

sheese. doesn't matter, i don't see the point of being strong when no one's watching me.
& there, here i am , home again.
if only i could stay a little longer, go a little further;

nevertheless, i'm thankful for this break.

-
i'll let the pictures do the talking...

waiting for our luggages..

touched down at thailand- sq 064

the stuffs i got within an hour the first night(:

what i wore the first day.
day 2 (:

day 3(:

whee!drinking beer under the enchanting nightsky(:

WHITE CHOC DOLPHIN! =D

DARK CHOC GUITAR((:
-

i miss that humble place,
i miss the humble beings,
i miss doing things humbly,
i miss thailand, i miss suphanburi, i miss the hotel,
& i miss the handshake.
i miss the times spent,
i miss the place where nobody knows me,
where i knew nobody,
where i walk through the streets like i've always lived there,
where i live day by day with no dread,
and no regret.
-
anw, i think the day book @ 2359 is very meaningful((:
-
sometimes i ponder, if all is the process of growing up;
am i putting too much effort in living in well since i'll pass this stage in time to come?
i'm tired of reminding myself what NOT to do.

for all that happen, God has His reasons.

2006-12-13T14:33:00.000+08:00

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky,

you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile
-

i'll let no one see the pain in my eyes,
i'll let no one see the tear roll down,
i'll let no one see the weak girl in this big body.
but deep within, you know i'm afraid.

2006-12-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

i'll be away for the several days. (((:
okay, i'm getting some plane frights now=/
take care people- beep* , yanhui jie?;P , the5, the 10ofus.
and all the best volleyballers for the next 3 matches((:
-
stumbled upon stuffs, or to say i went to read it on purpose,
this time, i looked at everyth in a whole new perspective,
and i realise, how naive i was,
how absurd everyth seems.
-
perhaps friendship shouldn't have much love to talk about,
we don't own them,
perhaps krist's right, girls school is LAME.
and the talks about neglecting each other,
all the dumb squabbles of us not doing enough for each other.
& i know i'm lame.
-
i won't ask you to stay;
i'd rather walk away.
forsaken- & i'm afraid, i really am
i won't allow anyone see the tear roll down my face.
-
~~i wish i won't be back,~~
~~does it matter anyway?~~

2006-12-11T13:54:00.000+08:00

雨天
作词:小寒作曲:李伟菘

站在十字路的交点该怎么走
我却只想回头除了你给的伞
我再也没有别的借口去拥有你的什么
你能体谅我有雨天偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步会慢一些如此坚决
你却越来越远

牵手和分手来自同一双手
作回朋友我却悔恨不懂挽留

你能体谅我有雨天偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边此刻脚步会慢一些如此坚决
你却越来越远是否太晚路已走远

我的眼眶泪太满走不回你身边
你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现谁能体谅我的雨天
此刻脚步会慢一些如此坚决
你却越来越远
-
happen to hear this on the car;
and it hit me hard.
i wonder why.
i need a cry, i need a shoulder, i need a caring arm, and one to wipe my tears.
-
everythg has been well;
and i love spending every little time with mom& family.
playing volleyball and doing homework,
piano and just piano.
but there's smth weighing me down.
shrugs- it was my aunty's birthday yesterday(:
yes, called over to philliphines but i'm worried because of the typhoon.
i miss her, real bad):
-
i'm going to play basketball with my primary school friends tmr! =D
& i've got a hurting back and bleeding finger)):
-
i'll still rejoice and pray to have that burden lifted off for it christmas!
and nth is impossible(:

2006-12-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUTISTIC PARTNER! =D
whoots! today was fun! (:
first, we had lunch at mos;
then safra to play pool! guess the autiti game lasted real long=/
hahh.the ball JUMPS! like JUMP! hahh.
then off to swensons! korkor and i shared some pasta& sundae!
then the BEAR! whee! yesyes! the BEAR=D
yanhui.mujia.inez.ella! <333
BBY.AUTITI.DADDY.TWINNE! =D
-
then off early & went for my volleyball match with nanyang poly(:
went well, won.yepps.
-
hahh. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUTITI! <3>
i hope you had fun, i certainly did.
keep this day, as memories not forgotten.((:
for you'll only be 15 once!
-
have been spending much time with friends,
heartfelt friends i've drifted so far away with,
just because of my selfishness,
because i was too held up by unnecessary senseless thoughts.
i've cleared the saturation,
is there time for me to make up for all that i've lost,
all that i once refuse to give?
many days, many stuffs,
much time spent tgt so far,
and the aloofness is still so distinct.
i'll be patient, i'll wait. i'll show you bit by bit.
-
&i'm pretty HAPPY this week.(((:
~~apart from the creepy nightmares of suicides=/~~
-
highlights of my piano:
when you tell me you love me,
untitled, you raise me up, a very special day, some romeo and juliet song?

2006-12-07T20:42:00.000+08:00

6th.
bby;
a simple phone call, made my heart skip a beat.
its been so long since i've heard you over the line,
and i do appreciate hearing from you.
and all the random stuffs we say & talk about.
it brought joy and comfort to me, if you didn't realise.
(: loves.
-
7th.
a surprisingly great 7th today; after all the months.
apart from edwin who said i put on weight when i met him downstairs):
went out with melanie meimei to bugis then to cityhall.
where she went with her church friends at TCC and i left with Sabrina.
sorry for not coming back to find u=/ but i did enjoy your company(:
-
Roamed all around with sabby at MARINASQUARE again!lol.
arcade for a short while, shopped arnd for her stuffs.
ate shihlin, currypuffs, SAKAE=D
GREEN TEA ICE CREAM IS NICE! <3
im really thankful that everyth is all well and fine between us now,
after all the cold, long war we had unintentionally.
we drifted, i teared bad. but all's so fine now(:
glad you've asked me out today((:
i'll be there for your grandarrival from your mission trip in thailand.
meanwhile, bonvoyage and take care.
-
will be out bowling, pooling, & swensons! with yanhui, ella, inez, pinghui to celebrate AUTITI's birthday! <3>
and off to KACC for volleyball championship, a match outdoor at night! whee-
=D
-
lets continue frolicing all week & turn the music up loud!
for the sun will continue to rise,
and the stars will not cease to shimmer.
there's still light behind the clouds,
so never fear the cloudy days.
-
undaunted by setbacks,
bravely we'll ride the waves.
With grave resolve,
we'll spur each other on.

2006-12-05T20:52:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCELO! =D our youngest macho! <3
half a week has passed, done pretty much (:
was out with ella all day on sat2nd, at MARINASQUARE again! we bowled(:
then went to parkway to meet ms goh for caroling prac though we left halfway=D
yepp yepp! reached home late but yes; we had fun.
stay happy TWINNIE!
-
monday mugged with melanie though we spent more time chatting and discussing bout everyth from volleyball to personal matters.
mushroom.szewaiy.melanie&i
so much fun spent tgt; just speaking.
-
TUESDAY 5th!
REJOICE! met up with 5/7 of my primary 6-1 04' clique.
MARINASQUARE &bugis. yes. me and my marina(:
hehh. watched
Deck the Halls!
its christmas! everyth is possible((:
- we will be seen from space! <3
so much we have gone thru together,
all caught up and remembered this day.
all that we've shared;
all the silly things we always do;
that never fail to fume the teachers;
we all brought it up today.
i miss you all! the times spent real simple&tranquil.
i miss the old school building;
the times we had at the long jump pit,
the games of crocodile,
the times where we would walk in a straight line back up to class,
though we were very late for lessons.
hahh. and both head and asst. head prefects were part of us! =D
defiant, but bonded.
silly but happy.
& i really love you all.
i dream of us, running wildly in our pinafores,
monkeying on the monkey bars;
roughing it out on the bball courts.
everyth we do, i'll never forget.
-
iLOVEthe7. joycelee, kristine, linda, jiahui, meryl, eileen.
-
it'll be an amazing friendly match with 5 schools tmr with our jersey & team bag(:
and shopping with my lil girl the day after &
SATURDAY WOULD BE GREAT! 9th! <3
-
and i'll be off to thailand soon! SHOP till i DROP! =D my 10+ trip there?

2006-12-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

i am happy & i won't fret.
for the more one gets; the more one wants.
-
The Blue Day Book
Everybody has blue days.
These are miserable days when you feel lousy,
grumpy, lonely,
and utterly exhausted.
Days when you feel small and insignificant,
when everything seems just out of reach.
You can't rise to the occasion.
Just getting started seems impossible.
On blue days you can become paranoid that everyone is out to get you.
You feel frustrated and anxious,
which can induce a nail-biting frenzy
that can escalate into a triple-chocolate-mud-cake binge in a blink of an eye!
On blue days you feel like you're floating in an ocean of sadness/
You're about to burst into tears at any moment and you don't even know why.
Ultimately, you feel like you're wandering through life without purpose.
You're not sure how much longer you can hang on,
and you feel like shouting
"Will someone please shoot me!"
It doesn't take much to bring on a blue day.
You might just wake up not feeling or looking your best,
find some new wrinkles,
put on a little weight,
or get a huge pimple on your nose.
You mgiht get dumped, divorces, or fired,
make a fool of yourself in public,
be afflicted with a demeaning nickname,
or just have a plan old bad-hair day.
Maybe work is a pain in the butt.
You're under majoy pressure to fill someone else's shoes,
your boss is picking on you,
and everyone in the office is driving you crazy.
You might have a splitting headache,
or a slipped disk,
bad breath, a toothache,
chronic has, dry lips, or a nasty ingrown toenail.
Whatever the reason, you're convinced that someone up there doesn't like you.
Oh what to do, what to dooo?
Well, if you're like most people,
you'll hide behind a flimsy belief that eveyth will sort itself out.
Then you'll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder,
waiting for everything to go wrong all over again.
All the while becoming crusty and cynical,
or a pathetic, sniveling victim.
Until you get so depressed that you lie down and beg the earth to swallow you up
or, even worse, become addicted to Billy Joel songs.
This is crazy, because you're only young once
and never old twice.
Who knows what fantastic things are in store just around the corner?
After all the world is full of amazing discoverries,
things you can't even imagine now.
There are delicious, happy sniffs
and scrumptious snacks to share.
Sounds good, doesn't it?
But wait, there's more!
There are handstands and games to play
and yoga and karaoke
and wild, crazy, bohemian dancing.
But best of all, there's romance.
Which means long dreamy stares,
whispering sweet nothings,
cuddles, smooches
and more smooches,
a frisky love bite or two.
how blissful(:
First, stop slinking away from all those nagging issues.
It's time to face the music.
Just relax and take some deep breaths.
Or go for a walk to clear your head.
Accept the fact that you'll have to let go of some emotional baggage.
Try seeing things from a different perspective.
Maybe you're actually the one at fault.
If that's the case, be big enough to say you're sorry(its never too late to do this).
Be proud of who you are, but don't lose the ability to laugh at yourself.
Live every day as if it were your last,
because one day it will be.
Don't be afraid to bite off more than you can chew.
Take big risks.
Never hang back. Het out there and go for it.
After all, isn't that what life is all about?
i think so too.
-
the illustrations in this book's beautiful,
especially the dolphins! =D

2006-12-02T11:03:00.000+08:00

If i can overcome it once,
i can do it once more(:

everyth has been going on pretty well.
uch time spent on volleyball, gym;
and the matches kept me all exhausted physically.
but it does feel great to sweat it out too. (:
life made simple and the little conversations and teasing we had,
is all that i need. ...feeling light`

we can't make everyone happy, nor carry all burdens;
just don't make anyone sad.

it was volleyball farewell bbq yesterday and it will be bowling,
shop for present, caroling practice today! =D w twinnie!
-
yesterday was fun, more of a bonding session than that of a farewell.
thanks for accompanying me bby, feeling your presence<3
merried though i went that at 9pluspm?
hahh.& i love BERNICE! <3
we chatted a great deal by the breakwaters, with music.
the stars weren't bright, but there were many. =D
and all the chirpy cheery chatters with mates are great!
mushroom.szewaiy.kim.ju.peishi.chantal :))
-
fetched chantal and peishi home.
with the windows wound down, and hear the chatters,
feel the wind carressing my face,
hear the tunes from love memories and let the childhood memories surface.
-
i am happier than before (((:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SZE WAIY & DADDY! =D

2006-11-26T20:48:00.000+08:00

mom is right,

no one's here to stay forever;

you got to let go.

Moment of Solitude.

Life's nth but a game,

people and friends are just the chess pieces/pawns/tokens.

of this long long journey.

they come, walked through the routes,

finish the game and leave your life.

These tokens/pieces made of glass,

bring the seasons into the game.

Never hold them too tight nor close,

for they'll shatter before you;

and prick you hard,

hurt you bad.

They burn you with the scorching summer,

and the heating passion/affection.

Throw you into the cold abrubtly;

after the passion wears off.

More pieces come and go;

to delude and create illusions.

all the confusions we got to battle;

and not succumb to the hurt each piece harbor.

The one piece that's made for you,

come through much pain,

and through all ordeals,

it'll be the only one that follows your pace,

by your side, through thick and thin.

These tokens/pieces come and go,

just light up their path when they enter your game,

bring them sunshine and hope,

and guide them through this course.

Keep them too long,

the flaws will surface.

They struggle too hard to escape,

and injure you instead.

Abstain from the love,

never let the emotions prevail,

don't let the passion flare,

and get over you.

Through it all,

along this entire course,

of this game, life,

stay aloof; and let the agony pass you by.

where'd you go?

when will i cross the finishing line?

will you be the one that follows me through, by my side?

2006-11-26T10:51:00.000+08:00

another week has passed; where'd you go?

Highlights…
-many came for friendly match on Monday.
-went to check out sweater with Hui Xin. 50 bucks, disappointing? Pizza for lunch (:
Bumped into Sabrina (: and Chengyi! =D all this on Tuesday
-training, friendly with Dunman High and yeah, Vjc came.
Repeated warm-up, he wasn’t sane as usual, though respected.
Out for Pizza hut again!, with the Vj peeps. Chatted, ranted, shared for an hour or two (:
The rain poured, on Wednesday (:
-today was pretty fun. HAPPY FEET! Woots! Dance, tap, dance, tap! I’m BOBO! However, chowchow refuses to be mammam): ah wells, we saw Jamie and friend there! =D and Amelia look hilarious during prom (as seen in the pic)
Went pasta mania for lunch, it’s a terrible place): firstly, there wasn’t my BANANA PIZZA. –POUTS. And I spilled hot soup on manda’s new jeans. ): sorry sorry =C thankfully there weren’t stains ya?
We were rather dead and tired, but, HAPPY FEET is NICE! And I’m starting to love not only dolphins but penguins! <3>Thursday!
-Just training, piano and many thoughts today. My temperature went up on Friday):
-went to sentosa with throwers. Unwell, ain't in the mood, ah wells; i was troubled by many thoughts. WE SAW THE RAINBOW! Me and the 2 birthday girls! Happy birthday! =D
An equation for the day, me,myself+my shadow+music+sand+2 pails of unkind seawater(on a rock under the tree) ->loneliness+tears+fever+heartache+disappointment.
My heart wrenched on Saturday.
-
People that made my week: Melanie, Haiyun, chowchow, kimmie.
-
Yesterday night I lay to ponder, over many things, much went through my head.
Allowed the tears to flow for once after so long.
If this week is my last, what would I have to say/do?
Life’s vulnerable, setbacks daunt us, but we have to move on.
I’d learn to cherish and not regret my past.
No one’s here for eternity,
Perhaps I have much to say.
I’m sorry for all that I’ve done wrong,
I’m thankful for to be able to impact and influence positively at times,
I’ll learn to understand that the world doesn’t just revolve around
Me myself and I.
That it’s not for my benefits but the joy of creating a smile;
The bliss of being able to be there for people I love whether or not it matters to them;
The blessing of being able to care and share.
The last thing I would say is to tell friends that have drifted apart:
You’re not forgotten for I love you so.
All I would like to do at this point,
Just lay back, thank God for all and pray.
Bask under the sun,
See the sun rise and set,
Watch the magnificent rainbow on green plains,
And watch the stars shimmer up in the enchanting sky,
Let the piano play itself and hear whispers lift my burdens,
Take away the weariness.
-
Let me take the burdens and weariness away along with me,
Into my grave,
While you find happiness and live in bliss.
Will you realize my importance, only on my deathbed? Probably I’m not.
-
i had a bad day, you add it one more.
If only you could understand how i feel.
If only i could care less about how you're feeling, bout your everything.
It was a starry night yesterday if you'd bother to look up and think of me.
I made a wish upon the brightest star, a simple wish just to guide you to where you're supposed to me. Nearer or away from where i am.
I hate to see the wound on your knee, does it hurt to see the scars all over me?
-
You ask me if I love you, I choked on my reply.
Now let me say this, I love you.
-
I feel messy, messed up. Packed, stumbled upon many.
Gifts from seniors, friends, cards, letters,
And yes, I’ve hurt you bad, I blame myself,
Its alright, I’ll let everything fade away.
Do you remember we once said ‘this diary/book won’t be enough to last for this year?’
And now? It’s not even ¾ filled.
Everything has lost its meaning.
-
every time i try to fly,
i fall without my wings,
i feel so small,
i guess i need you dear.
Dancing in the waters, dance away the fears.
I try, i just want you to be happy.
Swallowed the tears, its alright, I'll suppressed it all.
You never fail to haunt my dreams. I wonder why.

2006-11-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

a week has gone by, so swiftly.

many thgs changed, but not those i wanted.

special days to mention...

14/11/06

tues was graduation-i was part of the organizing alumni and kim joined me!-geehee!
had fun mendling with the PA<3>tears.laughters.joy.the rowdy bunch. they're full of gratitude.they made my week(: CEDAR ROCKS! cedar primary* <333>

15/11/06

disastrous friendly on wed,town on wed,stepup too(: dance dance dance.
17/11/06

went fish and co. for the first time(: with machismos again! just like B&J!

then went to huixin dad's restaurant for supper!

cosy bay by the kallang river. its beautiful.

the stars were shining ever so brightly,

enchanting nightsky. everythg's seems perfect.

but somethg's missing.only if you were there.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIXIN! <333

hope you enjoyed(: performing on stage at fish & co.!

you sang in tune, for ONCE!

thanks to those who made me smile.

kim,ella,melanie,volleyballers,throwers,chowchow,machos.

i'm out, it SEEMs like it doesn't bother me no?

im tired, i really am.

mei gan jue le. yes, its true.

where are you? when i needed you so...

i know i will falter; i know i will cry.

my attitude's bad,

i'm at war with the world.

i hate everythg, everyone.

i detest all that's laid before my eyes.

i need a break.

can't wait for clique's sweater, team jersey and team bag. =D

2006-11-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

ALONE;AFRAID;ALOOF

Self manipulated;

im ashamed.

the world's crashing;friends,family,love ones.

im ~~strong~~ weak

days of STACCATO-

DETACHED*

me, myself and i.

my piano and shadow's all that i see.

the burdens are all that's felt.

will you just let the tears roll down my face and let it be?

can you see the hurt in my eyes?

can you hear me calling out for help?

will you be there before my last breath?

im sleeping through this pain. the distant of my spirit.

it drifted FARFAR away from my body.

for the pain's inflicted on this shell's far too unbearable.

2006-11-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

people leave, people has the ability to hurt once u start to love.
many loves=many hurts.
some realised they wounded me; some didn't.
just gonna do my best.
to salvage all that i've done wrong.
i've made my mistakes,
've got no where to run.
fell,sink,drowned.
i feel off. neglected perhaps.
everyone has their own lives to lead ya?
everybody's screaming, having fun.
i try to make a sound, pleading for forgiveness; for care
but no one hears me. everybody's too busy with their lives
forsaken;frayed;forlorn-
it pains me to see you leave; does it pain you?
i've learnt well, but its unfair to the rest.
i can't love anymore, neither can i trust. no more.
aches-
because of you, i dare not stray too far from the sidewalk.

2006-11-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

Sunday5th-
Went expo/church with Melanie (: met many juniors there and my primary school teachers. Rejoice for that!
Yes, I cried again.
At the thought of me praying for you when you weren’t in the team,
the thought of leaving you alone in Singapore. At that point of time…
nahh-- let the past go.
-
Condemned no more& as I
Rejoice for a
Reason and as I
Rest and
Reminisce the past, I pray that we’ll
Reaffirm the bond, trust & friendship.
Reconcile and may the peace of mind be
Restored.
-
Monday6th-
Training went on as usual. Conversed with coach, all of us did, but perhaps a few of us were more affected by it.
I tried to behave well, tried to play and forget the troubles.
I put in all the effort, just to numb the pain.
I thought I did well, but he saw through.
Yes, and I thank God for coach somehow.
He spoke to me, he said someone told him everything, and yes, I broke down. He talked sense into me, harsh but comforting. =/
I don’t know, perhaps the hurt in my eyes still lingers no matter how I tried to portray myself?
Anyway, he just knew all that I’m going through, he wants to lead me out of it.
i don't wanna do this anymore; i don't wanna her her anymore. i'd rather leave myself hurt
But my nerves are wrecking and I’m tired.
~~My knuckle is looking bad.~~
-
went to the library after all the tears shed.
With Kimberly, seon, hsinyi.
Ate and off to library(:
Yes yes. I borrowed a book on ice-skating, music history and human ‘history’. Finished reading the one on ice-skating(:
Then beep treated me to 2 chocolate éclairs and 1 coffee éclairs! At delifrance! -geehee. Thanks!

Thanks for being there just when I needed it.
A broken heart will continue to beat,
I won’t delude myself anymore.
Perhaps He sent him to tell me that I’m wrong.
I’ve faced the truth, and just wish you’ll choose my embrace when you’re all so weary.
-
Tuesday7th-
Went to Gardenia bread factory.
Much learned and yes, the accompaniment of my dearest classmates again.
10of us and Jessica too! then off to butterfly part and we played crocodile! Hahh.
The joyous times spent.
Shopped for groceries with bro, cooked, eat, wash car!
Washed/polished for 2 hours! And I found EARPIECE! GEE-
pleasant surprise for dad before he comes home the next day(:
-
Wednesday8th-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYFRIEND!
Yes, another month has pass, I’ve lived thru yet another 7th.
Training was not too bad except for some unexpected happenings, but we did have fun with vjc(:
Went tpy for pizza and library again!
Borrowed a book on golden retriever and pets heroes. Then éclair! <3>
-
Thursday9th-
went back to cedar primary to discuss and organize their graduation day.
met eyecandies xuanying and avril! oh oh! _GEEHEE- my lil ones.
much to be done.50discs to be burned.got to select songs app. 3hours in total.
sheese.much theory not done.
i'll survive(:
-
went pp macs with rebecca, caught up.
what can be better than this? sharing all the bottled ups.
being able to talk to the long lost(:
-
came home to bathe and went toapayoh delifrance w kim.
for ECLAIR! once again! =D
me and my bulging tummies!
saw KRISTINE! oh oh.its been 2 years! (: and im tall now! heh.
take care girl! she's working...
-
off to wisma to get ipod repaired(: and fareast to shop and meet bec,mel,hl!
parted and left with kim soon after.
got necklace, bracelet, ear stud. (:
kim got STRAWBERRIES related products as usual!
hehh.i want a TIARA! -pouts.
they're like so PRETTAYE can! elegance...
then walked to cine and got 2 dog tags engraved(:
written..
the undaunted-
linxin1104
<3beep*
3,5,7,TEN<3
torto+algae=<3
*censored*
and prolly a shirt too(: geehee-
-
im HAPPY!yes i am.thanks beep for this entire week.
yesyes. iLOVE spending time tgt.
just got to thank God for everyth today.
it's been great, simply fabulous.
the fun and laughter we had.
-
tough week ahead=/
trng tmr followed by study then meeting senior to get presents and
settle some grad day things then piano(:
weekends- trng,burning of all the CDS and preps and mugigng with kim!
korkor too?

Anyone wants to mug overnight at the air port this weekend? (:
-
undaunted by setbacks,
tgt we'll ride the waves.
we'll spur each other on,
and be there when forlorn.
-
i try and i try.
everytime i try to fly,
i fall without my wings.
where are you my wings?
where have you gone.
its been long.
gruelling, hurting, tiring.
im weary. burdens weigh me down.
flat and low.
but i'll still choose to be your pillar,
anywhr, anytime, anyway.
standing strong for u whenever u're tired.

2006-11-03T21:45:00.000+08:00

over the weekends(:
bro/cousin & I <3>

021106
went sentosa, had fun(:
played in the water, swam, got burried and R.I.P was drawn on me! =/
volleyball on land and water. dive...
played.tanned.enjoyed.
yesyes.we ran.we merried.
then.. kim and i went to get disposable undies...
& we were laughing so unglamly and hilariously in the CUBICLES! =D
the disposables were HUGE! real HUGE! u can pratically cover your belly button with it! hehh.
then i ate 2 sets of KFC at kovan.
separated and yeah, shopped arnd with kim till 9+ and off we go(:
muchLOVES<3>soak up the SON+
-
031106
training.went home and cooked(: then off to keatli's house:)
long way there but we really did have fun!
saw 2 was... horrifying yet thrilling.
hehh.fun fun.had great dinner there too(:
off to ICEKIMO!
economical yet BEST! its great seriously.
im happy.totally happy today! -GEEHEE-
iLOVEmachos! <3>banana waffle+mango icecream! yum yum!
and we designed our sweater(:
-
sat-trng/piano
sun-church
mon-trng
tues-make sweater with huixin/learning journey
wed+thurs-trng/iceskate/outing w kim.
fri-trng/piano
sat+sun-mugging at airport w kim?
-
that's all for now! =D
won't be blogging for e days to come i suppose.
got to do theory and mug!

have faith. reach deep within for the hidden stars.

search deep within.

thank God for everyth;

and yes,i'll trust that im blessed.

2006-10-31T20:56:00.000+08:00

i SPRAINED 3 fingers):
and the worse part is not being able to play my piano without much agony):
-frowns. ah wells.
-
much has been going on.cousin's wedding.
got to see a couple prepare for their next chapter.
(: post pics when i've received them i supp? (:
-
this week's schedule...
monday-volleyball training/mug/sleep
tues-volleyball training at kolam ayer
wed-volleyball training/mug/sleep
thurs-sentosa?/track training.
fri-volleyball training/outing with machos! <3
saturaday-piano lessons<3
sunday-church with melanie<3
-
One must be persistent in your disciplines and habits;
persverant in the face of adversity, hardship and challenge;
and determined to achieve your dreams no matter what.

No matter how well you plan and how well you execute your plan,
you are bound to meet with disappointments,
adversity and failure along the way to your ultimate triump.

Adversity is what gives you the opportunity to
develop your inner resources of character and courage.

Adversity is a great teacher.
It will test you and make you stronger.
But you have to hang in there and not give up.

Confucius once wrote,"Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall."
Harriet Beecher Stowe said,"When you think it is never going to change,
press on a bit further, and that is when the tide changes."
-
perhaps it was me,
perhaps im the one,
perhaps i was dumb;
to allow myself hurt.
perhaps God sent u;
to strenghten me
the hard way.
-

2006-10-28T11:44:00.000+08:00

261006
TIME TO SAY GOODBYE.
-
2 years, 2 years, its been 2 years since i stepped into the gates of Cedar...
my first bunch of friends.
the ones that made me laugh the way nobody can.
the ones that makes me fume.
the ones that drove me nuts.
the most unglamorous i've ever came across...
despite all this... 2 years have passed.
and i certainly miss them.
time pass so quickly, i can no longer grasp.
it got me shaking..
how much time i've wasted dwelling.
-
CLEARED, CLEANED, CRIED.
the emptiness as each of you leave,
as overwhelming.
i certainly miss you guys.
HUIXIN, JOYCE, NAIR, KEATLI, VANESSA, CHE'RIE, WENHUI, XINYING, RAIHAN.<3
thanks beep for being thr(: i'll be happy when you're happy.
-
went lakeside to collect skirt with kim.
seon, friend, kim and i went to jurong east for lunch and off to check bout iceskating(:
was rather fascinated with the ice hockey trng's that gg on.
then off home bout 8.
LIGHT , LEARNT , LORD. im strong.
-
271006
training, weights, receiving is all we did for 4hours.
rushed over to pri sch to retrieve smth from my teacher.
dear Lin Xin,
here's a little somth for you to cheer you up a little.
we all go thru pain and struggle at times,
but its the strong that will arise.
so smile more ok?
Jast call me anytime when you need a listening ear.
God bless you, mu little girl.
Love, ms goh.
(:
then rushed home, showevered, ate cup noodles, played piano
and off to marina square to me yanhui, ella, mujia
ate at pizza hut and bumped into 2 seniors whom went of IP last yr(:
the world is small indeed(: GEEHEE_
off to arcade and bowling! korkor & i were hilarious,
and OFF! so noisy and rowdy=/ hehh.
but it was real fun, korkor dropped the bowling ball=D
korkor and i was literally UNSOUND!
-
hehh. then rushed ran rode for piano while korkor for guitar(:
PIANO!that's the best remedy to all heartaches and fatigue.
indulge in the melodious tunes as one sing along. (:
drift away to a blissful fairyland.
its sometime i wanna spend alone. (:
i dream of going to Richard Clayderman's concert someday.
-
today's smth i'll remember/
soon enough, with sheer determination,
i'll overwrite the unhappiness.
-
i see the trust you had in me diminishing?
sorry.
am i still ur friend? hubby?

2006-10-24T20:59:00.000+08:00

231006
training was pretty bad. got whacked on the ear cum wrist cum bottoms):
im strong. everything's alright(: nodsnods.
went for pizza at toapayoh with kim, mich, joy, peishi.
had fun! i love CHOCOMINTS(: <3
then kimmie came over and we were all in piano for an hour+?
yes. the song holds alot of memories.
it was once dedicated... nvm. leave that out.
reticent... ...
-
then celebrated granddad's 85th birthday at long beach restaurant.
much events this month. grannie and granddad's birthdays and cousin's wedding.
all the clothes bought, dressing up and stuffs(:
crowds gathered as each took turns to feed granddad cake(:
i'll upload pictures if possible(: its a warm fuzzy feeling.
the unbreakable kinship. (:
-
drank red wine, pretty much.
dwelled. the past came floating pass,
where we drank outside the chalet,
where i felt so protective over someone for once,
the guys/ the coackroach.
all that we've been thru, have you all forgotten?
-
241006
lay in bed far too long... ):
went to the revolving restaurant
caught in the jam about 2hours? _-_ sheese.
i was doing theory! hahh. ;P got dizzy/headache.
then here comes good food again(: GEE-
-
then met yanhui, her cousins and mujia and bugis.
yanhui was ... eh.. FEMININE!
walked arnd, just roamed...
arcade? i want the BIG DOLPHIN , KAPAO & the minibanana)X
yanhui left. chatted with autistic patner.
bout all the stuffs... ilovespending time with you,autiti(: LOVEs.
-
have u forgotten all that we've gone thru?
the overwhelming emotions
the emptiness...
BUT I DO KNOW, i'm strong.
you lied, you kept no promises.
~~you and your replacements.~~
i hurt her, she hurt me, someone hurt her?
this vicious cycle... i need u.

2006-10-22T12:40:00.000+08:00

heya(: shall rewind 24hrs/48hrs.
1910o6
went to was deathnote with the volleyballers.
kimmie,michh,peishi,aina
bought 3 cookies from famous amos!
kim ate 1 and i ate 2(: wanted choco fusion but.. hah.
nice movie, at least it ain't horror.
will your last kiss to me be on my deathbed?
teared while all went gaga and hua chi. shrugs-
just got affected somehow. ahh wells,it aint worth it
211006.
the 10ofus -2 outing(:
we had loads of fun didn't we?
merry arnd in the ice skating ring! i didn't fall! GEEHEE-
yeah.we all had blisters on our feets=/ hahh.
i was given BETTER treatment cos of my unwell-ness? (:
ate alot! within like 8hours?
yong tau foo, kfc chickens, shrooms burger, sultana croiss, carrot cake!=/
huixin ate nth? diet? hahh! GEE-
nodsnods. skated for bout 4 hours.
REJOICE! (: met my bestie there-mengmei , 2ex school/class mates-tzekiat and yingjie and Sylvia!some friend i knew in church and at the amazing race!
tralalala.
huixin, joyce, parveen, raihan, che'rie, wenhui, xinying!
you all chased my tears far far away.
no others can make me laugh the way you guys did. <3>BOWL! i did well! yes.
and they made me feel EGO! boost boost boost! hahh.
didn't stay over at che'rie's house cos i ain't well. need the rest real bad.
but i enjoyed today! i really did.
iLOVEMACHOS! there's a reason why we're macho,
all that we've gone thru, alone & TOGETHER<3>221006
just home from spreeing with YANHUI at converse fair a 10mins walk away from home(:
shopped(: had fun.
bought shoes, flipflops, socks! (:
sales drive me nuts!
and i forgot that its SUNDAY! =/ oops oops.
nodsnods. linxin's back on with life(:
might me gg some sports fair at expo later on.. with mom and kim? shrugs-
(: loves hubby!
-
happiness and unhappiness/ just a stroke of difference isn't it?
its all in the mind(:
sudden thought.
be the captain of ur thoughts, not captive.
thinking is inevitable but u won't dwell unless you allow yourself too.
the thought that kept me going.
-
i hope i'll be able to find my wallet tmr. prayshard-
will be back((x
POOOF*

2006-10-21T10:39:00.000+08:00

I'm someone- describing all that she's actually going through but not wishing to say it out loud.

So lost, afraid, empty.
What do I exactly want?
How do I exactly feel?
unsure-

A piece is lost within me.
Like a fully done up jigsaw puzzle with just a piece missing.
Never underestimate that piece- importance.

However, the piece...
Never seen it before, not knowing the appearance of which.

A part of me is missing,
but I just don't know what.
What is the decision I want?
I guess I actually don't have the decision.
I used to, but got confused.

Cherish the past is all I know.
Never choose sorrow over bliss.

2006-10-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

i had a bad day. some day real bad. ):
firstly... headaches. throb throb throb the entire day.
jacket was my saviour? perhaps for half of the day.
had nutrition talk and left my wallet in there? ez-link, cash, everyth):
-
fever, nauseas, headache, dizzy.
totally off. didn't train, no piano. nth.
doubt i'll be able to go out tmr=/
iceskating, beach, stargaze, sunrise.=/
-
tired. ihateu):why do you make me feel this way?
i do wish to have you here.

2006-10-17T20:30:00.000+08:00

heart 'good' sour.
im tired; i really am.

2006-10-16T20:19:00.000+08:00

disappointed. with the results. with you.
and you weren't there for me. what's new;dear?
?
poof* that's how i've been gg. each time u come and disappear. POOF*
-
to those who did well;
thank God. you're blessed<3
continue to strive(:
-
& to those who didn't do as well;
don't give up.
the world won't stop turning,
stay confident of your abilities,
don't falter for it ain't everything.
be strong. tear no more. for i'll be there to wipe them off.
come what may, have faith for you're never alone.
God bless.
<3
-
training was... fine(:
stretch more beep. POOF goes the strains(:

2006-10-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

heya(:
here i am again. so fun so fun! hahh.
firstly, i gotta thank kimmie & ms goh for coming over rather LATE at night yesterday knowing i was low(:
there. all my dearests. i know i can always count on you. rest assured. i'll be there too! <3>this i promise you.(:
-
okay. today i was an accomplice with kim on her mission of... (: shh.
hahh. so i met her at tm, got the stuffs and off to toapayoh.
a whole hour journey.
okay. i was saved from lowness by worship songs. +
hehh.yes. i had fun.and the security signal went off when we walked thru=/
freaked out. yes it did.
bought an off shoulder shirt with kimmie. hohoho.
fun fun fun. =D
and yes, i do love you(:
i hope everyth will go on fine for you alrights?
-
wanted to msg u, only to realise i've forgotten your number.
xiang wen ni, ni hai hao ma?
are u reading my blog? shrugs.

2006-10-14T18:52:00.000+08:00

heya(:
just back from SENTOSA.
worthwhile time spent doing amazing race;
the laughters, the interaction. thank God (:
first were clues to the merlion where we had to interview tourists who has toured the merlion.
then to the magical fountain where we sang twinkle lil stars and lao shu ai da mi for the tourists! hahh.
fun fun fun. the guts we had to portray=/
off to sisolo beach then to the carlsberg sky tower and took photos with an indian family.
hahh.off to the dragon train where we counted the no. of dustbins(: hehh.
then back to the ferry terminal! poof! we finished 2nd on this quest.
i've learnt well too. cancel cancel.
-
thanks to my 2 lil juniors, magdaline&melody and other 2cedarpri peeps, lossini&kala.
not forgetting ms Goh! <3>
interacting with all the juniors, the fun.
got me off the unhappiness.
whoooshh... impressive, awesome.
&i do love God, like always. the way He love us too.
He led us to a place,
guided us with His grace,
to a place where we're safe.
-
tralala tralala.
the little discomfort of my injured leg and dizziness didn't matter no more! (:
neither did the haze matter anymore.
back into the warmth embrace of CEDAR PRIMARY.
i miss all of u terribly. the 7 & the 3.
-
are you getting on well with life dear?

2006-10-13T15:27:00.000+08:00

heya(:
back from training. we slept outside the sports hall again(: okay. was real exhausted.
training was... not too bad i suppose.
more to say bout yesterday(:
i hope things are going well over your side,
stay strong no matter what.
i'll be here. listen to that song from me to you.
beep-
-
12/10/06
we had fun, loads of fun.
met at amk.
went off to wenhui's house, watched click again.
will you still love me in the morning tmr?
forever & ever, babe.
hahh(:
had fun had fun. and we watched saw): got scratched by huixin.
hahh. oh wells. and had kfc. didn't go icekimo? ):
hahh. then played with FIRE , candles and our BONFIRE(:
the10made me happy again(=
huixin, wenhui, che'rie, vanessa, keatli, joyce, raihan, parveen, xinying
--
lalala(: happy happy. then went home with huixin(: we talked, bought ichigo bliss and apple pies(:
hehh. muchloves darling.<3
-
happy happy. (:
off to machogirls blog(:

2006-10-11T19:49:00.000+08:00

10.10.06. (:
went to kimmie's house. baked apple pie for CHOWCHOW!
hahh hahh! ;P
had fun with all the flour and apples! i cut my finger=/
we had fun. though it ended rather emo-ly.
just wanna say, i love u girl(:
she must have been shocked when we gave her today! hahh. -winks

11.10.06(: prettaye good day :)
training ended.its was... okay.
being a fool in the sports hall:/
but at least i felt light and yeah, just wanna play!(x
thanks lovely for that 'booklet' kinda thing<3 muchappreciated :)
then, bathed in school and i fell on e stone chair.
swollen/bruised/bleeding ): how nasty.
iwannabathenomore):

called a cabbed down to marina square.
bowled=/ a low 42 point. _-_ hahh. had fun and kimmie's cat walking steps,
manda's slipping here and there and my twisting of wrist!
okay.really laughed and got hype(:
then watched WORLD TRADE CENTRE.
hahh. a very anti-climax show i should say, all the tears and laughter.
then off home sweet home, the way she reacted with the bag of apple pie,
its unforgetable(: hehh.
found someone as kuku as me! wahah..
kimmie and amanda! aka chowchow&beep(:
we had fun, didn't we? the laughters and smiles were so genuine, weren't they?
-
pain's our friend,
if we feel pain,
it means we're alive.
life's vulnerable,
cherish one another before you lose them(:
-
yh, im glad u accepted ALGAE² (:
when are we going to bowl and pool?
mujia,ella,me,u,inez?hah.
-
tralalala. linxin's HAPPY HAPPY today! (x
will be out with the10 tmr again!

2006-10-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

had fun out today again(:
out to kimmie's us with all the baking and stuffs.
all e mess we created with flour and the retarded stuffs i did.
laughed. giggled. enjoyed. just let it all go.
thanks for today babe(:
we'll be out tmr again. with manda too!

beep:
fret no more.
have no fear, be strong.
u'll survive, let it fade.
i'll be here, evrytime u need me.
just a call away.
empty promises we probably get and had along e way;
just wanna say, i'll be here when ur world seems to chrash.
muchlove. stay strong sure?

2006-10-10T10:10:00.000+08:00

EXAMS ARE OVER! POOF*
what more can i ask for?
a day with all my darlings, my lovely, my beep and someone special.

the day... ...
dumbdumb HUIXIN brought her camera without the battery
_-_ lol.what's new anyway. hahh. and i bought algae.shhh
this macho girls outing was rather successful no?(:
however, xinying didn't go. ):
had fun.from k-boxing at cineleisure to raffles city.
hahh.i was spending most of my time acting like a some ghost in the room.

raffles city: BEN AND JERRY! <3>frisbees and bottle from B&J!
ain't they PRETTAYE? hahh.
then we went to wealth fountain and maid a fool of myself.

this day.i'll cherish.create more memories. (:
had loads of fun from cine to raffles city to marina square to suntec(:
though i left early. geehee-
nair, huixin, joyce, wenhui, raihan, keat li, che'rie, vanessa <3>

B&J! GEEHEE. and we go MOO MOO MOO!

B&J
koi pond(:

-the time was 1718

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the NIGHT...

met kimmie at the vjc bus stop(: hehh.
and i met HUIXIN on the bus after parting! she was like stoning. hahh(:
u made me smile girl.
had fun retardering around.lol.

talked bout anyth under the sky. (:
kimmie went to get a GREEN BALLOON for macs(: though it flew flew flew away):
emo emo emo.i was high, real high.
okay.the coakroach crawled over my leg_-_ imagine how frightened we all were.
and we realise they were coming out from the 2 holes beside us_-_
then someone who just wants to be known as tortoise came along.
and brought lots of tissue!
okay..i cried, i teared, i broke down. after the 10% + 6% + 6%. =/
sorry.
thanks BEEP and TORTOISE for this special night.
thanks for the pleasant surprise. its my first surprise i should say.
came to realise the importance of all.
and my primary school teacher too. who called knowing im real low.
the tigger and pooh balloons. kept safe and in my heart.
thanks for sending me halfway home, i know i was real drunk.
still having a hangover):
-
alrights. enough of un-glam matters.
muchloves to all that has made my day<3 i really do love u all. -

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, hey

Bye, bye (bye, bye)

Girl I'm doing this tonight

You're probably gonna start a fight

i know this can't be right

hey baby come on I loved you endlessly

And you weren't there for me

So now it's time to leave and make it alone
I know that I can't take no more,

it ain't no lie I wanna see you out that door

Baby bye, bye, bye

(Bye)I don't want to be a fool for you

Just another player in your game for two

You may hate me but it ain't no lie

Bye, bye, bye (Bye)

I don't really want to make it tough

I just wanna tell you that I had enough

Might sound crazy but it ain't no lie

Bye, bye, bye

Oh, oh you just hit me with the truth

Oh girl you're more than welcome to

So give me one good reason baby come on

I live for you and me

And now really come to see

That life would be much better

Once you're gone if only.

I know that I can't take no more,

it ain't no lie I wanna see you out that door

Baby bye, bye, bye

I'm giving up I know for sure

I don't wanna be the reason for your love no more (Bye, bye)

I'm checkin' out, I'm signin' o

I don't want to be the loser and I've had enough

I don't wanna be your fool In this game for two

So I'm leaving you behind

Bye, bye, bye

I don't wanna make it tough

But I've had enough and it ain't no lie,

bye-bye

3months and 3days.

its my final goodbye to you.

and u'll disappear. bye. adeus.

2006-10-06T12:03:00.000+08:00

feeling like a pinwheel
colorful, brilliant perfect
the colors of paradise
it may seem

however, its just an illusion
not many would understand

it spins, it turns
all too quickly.
a metaphor to how im feeling now

blank, lost and empty
without my shelter to shield me from the wind

an ice age is occuring
deep within me
im freezing..
will you be back here to hold me close again?
i miss you, you know.
-
im happy for autiti, twinne and hubby's presence! <3>
thank God for them this entire week! -GEEHEE

2006-09-29T14:56:00.000+08:00

Ocean's apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

I wonder how we can survive
This ~~romance~~
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
-
day by day i yearn
my heart got weaker as the days go by.
perhaps thru these traumas and pain,
i'll never dare again.
i don't cry,
for fear to tear,
-
im slipping off the edge;
im hanging my the tread
-
a part of be can't bear to let you go.
i'll be somewhere looking over you,
everytime u needed someone to be there.
its been 22 days since i held u close

2006-09-22T14:55:00.000+08:00

another week has gone by;

my world is dead and disintegrating before my eyes.

the tragic reality.

greater dreams to fulfil.much more to pursue.

~~its time to forget you.~~

cliche

2006-09-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

it is always the darkest before dawn.

weeks have gone by, everything's fading away.

a misty morning doesn't always mean a foggy day.

i'm being strong, holding on to faith that the 'sun' within me will 'rise' again.

~~leave that facade on me; don't bother to remove.~~

09/10/06 till then, you won't see me appear.

2006-09-11T11:20:00.000+08:00

Linxin. I'm not her. :D
Hm, beeep! :D she's rather busy these days. Mugging her head off! I'm wondering how does she actually manage in keeping her mind in the mood of studying. I know I cant. CANT. =/

Had a conference just 2 nights ago. and. she was SOO whiny! =/ you can never imagine it that bad. but yes, lol. i sppose? hhm, went crazy, reading out e lyrics, playing that song off the piano... the best song! i love that music. :D or sth. =/ just whining... hm. i must emphasize that point.

stay strong. love, beeeeeeeeeep!*
-till when i've the inspiration to blog stuff, i would.

2006-09-08T15:27:00.000+08:00

Lin Xin is a HAPPY LITTLE KID (x

i've been whining and saying this all day, haven't i?

Lin Xin will be mugging, kept busy.

she wants to thank a few people here,

firstly my all time Blabbering Partner`kimmie. thank God for her. (: really do. beeps*

next CHOWCHOW! birpee(: beeps*i want my big bear hug(:

then... babyboy too? she has been hearing me rant and whine(: keeping me strong. i didn't tear just now! believe me! i won't!

x) DIK ELTTIL GNORTS a si niX niL

-geehee